It’s me, The Blog Complainer, reviewing movies that came out last week, because I’m a busy boy, doing other things, however, with it being Easter I thought I would do a double whammy and share the two movies that I’ve watched recently. They’re both pretty different because one was fun and the other was the polar opposite.

Starting with the non-fun one, it’s the new Fantastic Beasts movie, The Secrets of Dumb-bulldoor. I only watched this movie because of some of the controversies surrounding the film, not because I actually care about the story. It’s pretty much the same reason I chose to watch The Crimes of Grindelwald, back when the JK Rowling drama peaked. Although back then I wasn’t prepared for how bad  The Crimes of Grindelwald really was.

The best I can say about The Secrets of Dumbledore is at least it’s better than The Crimes of Grindelwald. The other is Mads Mikkelsen is really good as Grindelwald. I honestly can’t remember a thing about Johnny Depp’s Grindelwald except that he looked weird. Mikkelsen played a better villain and is a more convincing ex-lover for Dumbledore. Those were the main things I wanted to mention, and that’s all this movie has going for it.

Eddie Redmayne despite being the main character is still sidelined for the two gay giants and the rest of the supporting cast. It’s a pretty confusing movie, as it’s a plot that purposefully tells you nothing, but will lead you on the entire time until the big reveal at the end. Even if it feels like an episode of a cartoon show where it all goes back to the status quo, with no real dire consequences, because Warner Bros wants this Grindelwald conflict to go on for longer than it took Harry to defeat Voldemort.

I think I’m officially done with Fantastic Beasts, I do not need any more of this, and let’s talk about Ambulance instead.

I did write a review for this on Letterboxd, but Fantastic Beasts and bloody Morbius have shown me that some major studios have forgotten how to create a fun blockbuster. Michael Bay on the other hand hasn’t.

Ambulance is a heist movie, that goes horribly wrong and our main characters spend the majority of the movie being chased in an ambulance by the LA police. It’s a very simple movie, with very simple characters. The drama and tension are created by the great actors and solid writing. It’s also pretty graphic and loud, lots of shouting, and action, but most importantly it’s fun! It’s not a perfect movie as Bay likes to cut from our main characters to focus on the individual police characters, which I don’t care for, and they’re always the worst part of his movies. It’s also pretty cheesy, like bordering on a soap opera sometimes and other tropey Michael Bayisms, but this didn’t bother me as I find this stuff quite charming in his movies. Although the huge plus is it’s never boring, which is the cog you want spinning if you want to like your blockbuster, more so if it’s a Michael Bay movie. Got to mention Jake Gyllenhaal, Yahya Abdul-Mateen II, and Eiza Gonzalez, three great performances that carry the movie, besides the fact Bay perfectly recaptures the tension from Speed.

This was going to be just a Fantastic Beast centric post, but that movie was so underwhelming that I felt I needed to mention that there’s something else I have seen in cinemas that was actually entertaining and worth seeing. Oh well, next week is looking better with that new Nic Cage self-aware parody movie coming out and The Northman, which looks interesting, I would say. Have a happy Easter break and I have been The Blog Complainer, signing out.