Oh it’s this list again, it always enjoys showing it’s nasty rear end after I make my best of the year list. The same rules apply to this list as did the last, except there aren’t any 2020 worst movies on here because my preference is to not remember them. I didn’t see as many bad movies in 2021 as I usually do, because by the time I got to December of 2021 I was already satisfied with the huge stinkers I did get around to seeing.
Here are the not so shit films that avoided making it onto the actual shit list.
- Songbird: It’s already pretty tasteless to base your movie on a virus that is still affecting millions of people everyday, but also the fact that this film takes so little inspiration from the real world that the fictional COVID-23 could have easily been named literally anything else and it would have made no difference. Plus the writing was pretty trash.
- Voyagers: A movie where I was actually rooting for the villain because he was the only interesting character of note in this really generic space film.
- The Voyeurs’: I guess this one is a little mean as this movie was actually pretty good, until the most insultingly terrible ending of the year came around and ruined any chances it had.
- The Many Saints of Newark & Earwig and the Witch: I grouped these two together because they’re both disappointing movies that I expected more from, as they’re both from talented people who usually make high quality stuff.
- Red Notice: This movie is so dumb and doesn’t make a lick of sense. If it wasn’t for those leading actors then this wouldn’t be the most watched movie on Netflix. Another thing of note is that I got to see Gal Gadot play a villain and I want more of that, she’s pretty terrible when she has to be the goodie.
Enough of that, let’s get to the list.
I thought I would be fair by putting Space Jam: A New Legacy at the bottom of the list as I actually enjoyed this movie for how terrible it is. The jokes are the lowest common denominator of obvious kid movies humour but they hit the bar so low that I was actually laughing at how little they tried. The pandering references to better movies and shows under Warner Bros belt also got a smile out of me and Don Cheadle as the main villain, Al G Rhythm, was also a true delight whenever he was on screen as the man just went with it. For me, this is a “so bad it’s good” film as it seems to fit the shoe of what I’m looking for when it comes to terrible kid films, such as another true treasure Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
Last Night in Soho
The number 9 spot seems to be reserved for arthouse movies that completely miss the mark as evidenced by last year’s The Wolf of Snow Hollow. This is probably a controversial one too as it’s an Edgar Wright film on a worst of the year list. While I have enjoyed some of his previous movies, Last Night in Soho is easily his worst film as besides his distinct visual style and two strong performances from Anya Taylor-Joy and the late Diana Rigg this movie has nothing going for it. I should note this is supposed to be a serious horror movie, and the film completely fails at that as it resorts to cancerous jump scares and irritating creepy dream sequences. The film also has a message that is so in your face for the entire movie, but it completely falls flat at it’s ending where the twist goes against what the film is trying to say. I know personal taste impacted this as well as I don’t find ghost and possession movies at all scary, but this film’s terrible execution of it’s concept adds to my annoyance of this genre.
Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins
I had no intention of seeing this as I have never seen nor had much interest in watching any of the G.I. Joe movies. I was out with a friend who wanted to watch this, but I must say the highlight of the whole experience was complaining about how generically awful it was over a Chicken Parmie. The problem with Snake Eyes is it was just really boring. It was never looking too strong beforehand since it is an origin story, but it gets worse with a bland main character, forgettable villain and the weird cartoon characters that rock up towards the end of the movie. Even the action scenes were disappointing, which was the main thing I was relying on to hold my attention. I honestly can’t remember much about this movie, except the humorous way the guy gets his name. Out of all the Hollywood Asian martial art movies that came out in 2021, this easily wins by a snake eyes dice roll, as the worst.
Diary of a Wimpy Kid (2021)
I also had no interest in seeing this one, but I saw the short runtime on Disney+ and thought it would be a quick and easy watch before going to bed late one night. Oh boy, Diary of a Wimpy Kid (2021) was bad, and it really didn’t have any excuse when it’s got a good book and 2010 movie to draw from. The film’s 55 minute runtime proved to work against it as it left out some of the best material from the book and what the 2010 movie improved upon from that, in order to retell a more bland and rushed story of Greg and Rowley’s friendship. It’s also just a really ugly animated movie and turning the 2D drawings into 3D character models was nothing more than off putting and uncanny. Side note, seeing that Greg and Rodrick are completely bald, besides the little bit of hair that you see from their 2D counterparts, was never not distracting. Speaking of Rodrick, it’s a criminal offence that he’s in a total of one scene in this entire made for TV garbage movie. I know this thing is getting a sequel, where he’ll have a larger role, but I don’t know if I’m sticking around for that.
Venom: Let There Be Carnage
It’s ironic and a complete coincidence, that this is the only superhero movie to be squatting in my bottom 25. I was not a big fan of the original 2018 Venom, and a recent rewatch hasn’t changed my mind. Venom: Let There Be Carnage shouldn’t be worse, but somehow it is. They clearly haven’t learned anything from the first movie as it doesn’t know if it’s a fun goofy buddy movie or a messed up body horror type of film. This movie is dumb and ugly, with nothing going for it. Tom Hardy is still carrying this series on his two shoulders, but having to share the screen with the severely annoying black goo gets tiring really quickly. The most disappointing part of the movie is the main villain, Carnage, who is horrifically portrayed by Woody Harrelson, which I didn’t know was humanly possible. I’m familiar enough with the character of Carnage that he could be a really awesome villain if done right, but this movie seems a little confused as they want him to be a deranged psychopath and a misunderstood weirdo at the same time which results in just another generic different coloured evil Venom for the hero to fight in the climax. (Sorry, Antihero.) The best part was at the end when Eddie Brock/Venom decided to leave this boring universe. It’s just too bad that a certain other movie chose to spit these characters back out, making this movie an even larger waste of time.
A worst of the year list wouldn’t be complete without a Kissing Booth movie! This one has a really original premise for the third film in the series, the gang of kissers go on summer holidays. That quickly proves to be really boring, and definitely not done to death, so the writers revert to the stupid and contrived love triangle problems that the last film had. A plot that could have been easily resolved if everyone wasn’t a bunch of unlikable jerks, which is topped off with a detestable main character, that you wonder why these people even put up with. The saving grace of this entry is that this is the final Kissing Booth movie, the ending of which took me off guard with how maturely it was handled. The main reason I really liked it is because that’s the last time I’ll ever be complaining about these Kissing Booth movies.
Tom and Jerry (2021)
Oh look, it’s another one of those insert classic cartoon characters into famous American city type of kids movie. This time it’s Tom and Jerry’s turn to go to New York City and be side characters in their own movie so we can see an unqualified Chloe Grace Moretz rob a hard working person of their job, so then she can run around and mess up after Tom and Jerry, while some big wedding takes place and while an evil Michael Pena is out to get her. This movie is so dumb and has a plot built on contrivances and misunderstandings. You know, the absolute worst of modern Hollywood movies. I was in that cinema all by myself, I should have gotten out that iPhone thing that the kids like to use and go on the Ticky Tock and Instant book that this film jokes about and complained about how Cringe this movie was. Let’s move on.
Here’s a stupid movie for adults. Deadly Illusions is about some old woman falling in love with her young impressionable babysitter, but because you can’t relate to a main character who is attracted to someone half their age, they make the young person an insane dominatrix, out to murder her. It’s a film that keeps changing it’s mind on what the plot is even about. It even changes it’s mind on what the big epic final twist should be, but once it gets that, it’s just comes off as confusing and it feels like they pulled it out of nothing or someone’s bum since it is a sex thriller. This film is a complete mess of a script, that some people love as a so bad it’s good movie, but this didn’t have the same effect on me as something like Space Jam: A New Legacy did.
Home Sweet Home Alone
Just like Diary of a Wimpy Kid (2021) Home Sweet Home Alone is another previously owned Fox movie that just kind of grabbed my curiosity when I saw it pop up on Disney+ one fateful day, I will never get back. Home Sweet Home Alone (That title is killing me!) is an insultingly terrible movie that is the bane of uninspired cash grab remakes that targets at your nostalgia for the original classic. In this new Home Alone you’re rooting for the criminals that are robbing the house and the small child that is left by themselves, but the film portrays as being so unlikable that you might mistake him as the spawn of Satan. This is essentially the one original idea they have by making everyone the good guy, which feels so idiotic for a Home Alone movie! When they get to classic Home Alone trap sequence it just feels disingenuous and uncalled for that this movie thinks I would enjoy watching a couple trying and failing to get a doll that will pay off their house, while some spoiled narcistic little brat, relishes in their suffering. I’m know this wasn’t the writers intentions, but because the writing is so lazy and relying on the original film’s story to the bone, it comes off that way. This contributes to the main kid too, as this actor is wonderfully charming in a great movie like Jojo Rabbit, while I’m sure he’s trying his best here, the terrible writing doesn’t compliment his performance. Just like with Tom and Jerry (2021) the humour is awful and pandering to what old people think kids like. The joke that really ticked me off was when a character mockingly makes fun of how unnecessary remakes are and how they can never compare to the originals, which in case if you didn’t quite catch that, that’s the whole joke! It isn’t that funny and is absolutely not the most insulting thing I’ve ever heard!
Oh god, almost forgot these movies have being a recurring plague on these lists for the last 2 years. It was only a matter of time, before one of them reached the number one spot and that happens to be the third After movie. This film is too cool for the summer holiday plot, that Kissing Booth 3 had, because this one doesn’t even have one. I’m serious it’s a plot made up of uninteresting subplots that don’t go anywhere and a love story that is total rehash of what we’ve seen in the last movie. At least this one doesn’t have a real love triangle, but the fact the main girl is still loyal to the same verbally abusive asshole, that she’s constantly fighting with, screwing, then fight again with. It’s impressive three movies later she still hasn’t at least tried hitting it off with someone else, but she better hurry because I heard a plot rumour that Hardin kills her in the sequel. In this year’s obsession with major reveals, After We Fell wins the award for the most underwhelming plot twist ever conceived, as it involves Hardin and this other guy I’ve never even seen before, that the film treats as I have, while ignoring the fact, that half of cast was recast between movie 2 and 3. After We Fell (God these titles are putting me in mortal pain now!) easily wins worst movie of the year, because Home Alone (2021) at least it had a plot, some likable characters and wasn’t as lazy as this.
The Best and Worst lists are done for past the year, let’s end this off with the revealing the next list, which will be covering the best, the worst and the oddball older movies I’ve watched from 2021. That’ll probably be out next week, so stay tuned for that, and until I have been The Blog Complainer, signing out.