I’m back with another movie review and this time we’re looking at the obligatory COVID-19 gone super wrong movie. When Songbird was announced most people immediately boycotted it because the pandemic is still effecting our lives an entire year later. As distasteful as it may be, my cynical brain always felt it was inevitable that a movie like Songbird would be made during the pandemic, as it’s not going to sell as well years later when COVID is old news. The sooner you can accept that, the more fun you’ll get out of movies like Corona Zombies being a real thing.
Now onto the actual movie. Our story takes place a couple years into the future, where COVID-19 has morphed into COVID-23, and is deadlier than ever before. What happened to the rest of the world will be never answered, but in LA the whole city is now ruled by martial law. If you catch COVID, then soldiers will come to take you and everyone else living in your house to a Quarantine zone, where you’ll be basically left to die. Unless you’re one of the 0.01% of people who are immune to COVID-23, a thing invented for this movie. You can finally go mask free and return to work, but as long as you have your yellow hospital tag strapped onto your wrist at all times, so you won’t be shot on sight by the military. That’s pretty much it as regards to COVID, as this movie is completely disconnected from any other real world events that defined this pandemic. All this movie acknowledges is that you’re trapped in your homes, you wear masks and use the internet, but other than that COVID-23 could have been literally called anything else and the movie would function the same.
The movie is mostly concerned with our sizeable cast of characters, who are all loosely stringed together in this simple tale. The main plot is about a forbidden romance. The main character is a delivery boy because he is conveniently, along with half of our principal cast, in the 0.01% of people who are immune to the super COVID strain. He is madly in love with a non immune girl who he has never been in the same room with. That was a real line said in this movie, just like the delivery boy isn’t delivering packages, but is actually delivering hope. Also during the opening news report/YouTube video exposition dump someone was reminiscing about fake news. The film quickly devolves into an action movie when the girl’s old lady gets COVID from presumably opening a window for some fresh air. So delivery boy needs to get them a yellow tag, while also being hunted by the army and Peter Stormare who plays the most cartoonish evil bad guy I think I’ve seen in a modern big budgeted movie. He’s great, but I think he walked onto the wrong set.
The story isn’t very good, that’s due to how super black and white all the characters are. This is most evident with the married couple played by Demi Moore and Bradley Whitford, one of whom is a loving parent and the other is a massive jerk. Guess who’s not dead at the end of the movie! There are other factors too, like how some of the characters are really dumb and often make the situations worse for themselves with their idiocy. It’s also often poorly shot as there were numerous points, mainly during the action scenes, where the camera was either shaking or obscured and it was hard to tell what was happening.
On the plus side, for stupid incompetent movies, this was probably one of most watchable ones I’ve seen. I was never bored and whenever I wasn’t thinking of what didn’t make sense, I was mildly engaged in what was happening. It’s on the below average tier and Songbird is the perfect put on in the background movie, because it might actually be a good movie then. If this movie was more like Corona Zombies then maybe I might recommend sitting on the couch to watch it.
What do you know, Songbird wasn’t as bad as I was expecting. Speaking about COVID reminds me that next week should be exciting as it seems more likely than ever that I’m finally going to be reviewing A Quiet Place II, which is a freaking miracle! There’s also Cruella, but A Quiet Place II man! I have been The Blog Complainer, signing out.