The day that I saw Raya & The Last Dragon was also the same day that the scarcely requested sequel to comedy classic Coming to America was released. I didn’t watch the verbal nightmare known as Coming 2 America until a week later as I still needed to watch the first movie, which wasn’t too difficult to find as it was conveniently available on Amazon Prime, along with it’s sequel. 80’s Coming to America was a pretty fun comedy, some jokes hit while others really flopped. As for the 2021 sequel, it strives to be the same and has no interest in doing any better.

It’s not a modern reboot without some good old nostalgia pandering, especially when it comes to anything tied to the 80’s. Unlike me, if you didn’t watch this movie literally a day after seeing the 80’s classic for the first time, you’d probably get a kick out it. The plot has Eddie Murphy’s Prince Akeem returning to America so he can find his bastard son, so his kid can go through the exact same arc that he did in the first movie. It’s like passing on the torch you could say, but the movie seemed to forgot we came here for Akeem and friends, who are now forced to take a back seat in favour of the new characters who aren’t as good in comparison to the ones you love from the 80’s film.

For a movie called Coming 2 America they don’t spend very long in America, a strange choice, because if I’m not mistaken that was the main appeal of the last movie, was it not? Watching these clueless rich foreigners bumbling around in Queens, trying to pick up chicks, while working at not-Maccas, and being amazed by 80’s American culture, that’s the main source of comedy. I guess 2020’s America is just not worth exploring and making fun of, since it ain’t the 80’s! So we better pack-up and return to our cartoony and now dated African kingdom, which was also more appealing back in the 80’s.

I’m not doing a good job at not ragging on this film, as I will admit it is an entertaining enough average movie. The best addition to these movies would be Wesley Snipes as the main villain, as he carries over his comedic chops from Eddie Murphy’s last venture Dolemite Is My Name. I liked the dance scenes and there were some pretty costumes here. In the end the lesson here is you can’t beat the past, because it’s better than living in the present.

3 – Hold off on it

Now onto something that is much more fun to rag on and that’s this stupid movie I found on Netflix. This is Deadly Illusions, one of the most inept confusing movies I’ve seen in recent memory.

The gist here is that some best-selling author is struggling to write her latest book and since she is a married mum with two well behaved children, she needs a babysitter to keep them in line. She hires this polite young girl, who our main character quickly becomes infatuated with. The young girl eventually catches on and now they’re in a forbidden romance. Unfortunately that all changes when the mother believes something is seriously wrong with this babysitter, because only bad things ever happen when she writes.

That is a rough synopsis, but trust me the writing is garbage. I say it’s a confusing movie because I have no idea what I’m supposed to be feeling half the time. There is a strange scene where the 50 year old mum takes the babysitter lingerie shopping, because we have established a bit earlier that she likes watching the 20 year old wearing her one piece bathers. It ends with the babysitter letting the mum feel her boob and I hadn’t a clue if this was supposed to be hot or gross. Turns out it was grossed out, so the Mum will no longer be seen as a creep, since the movie is now hinting that the babysitter is a secret psychotic dominatrix. Another peculiar scene is when the babysitter frames the Mum, by killing someone for what appears to be no reason at all!  No, hang on, there is a reason because at the end we find out that the babysitter has a split personality, so you can sympathise with her, understanding why she’s totally bonkers! It’s a really smart movie because the film also enjoys insisting that what we’re seeing might not actually be real, so now add that into the equation when you’re watching the stupid boob touching or the bathtub scene!

Overall, this is an annoyingly inconsistent film. I hear some people are getting an ironic kick out of this trash, but not me, so I’ll leave this one up to you.

1 – Don’t Bother

Alright, an actual good movie!

It’s an Amazon Prime exclusive again, and it tells the true story of a man being imprisoned at Guantanamo Bay for possibly being connected to the 9/11 terrorist attacks. The story cuts between Jodie Foster as the defence attorney trying to scrape together whatever evidence she can in a severely disadvantaged uphill battle, while Benedict Cumberbatch is the prosecutor who will do whatever is required to ensure a verdict that results in the death penalty. In the middle of all of that is some flashbacks of our main character, Mohamedou rotting for years on end in this horrible prison.

The main appeal of the movie would be the flashbacks with Mohamdou. The scene where he gets tortured in that open cell by those soldiers day after day until they extract any old confession from him is unnerving and shocking to believe that the US Government is completely fine to have these inhumane practices in place, while kidding themselves that they’re not the biggest hypocrites on the planet. Mohamedou is the heart of this movie and I’m surprised that Tahar Rahim isn’t getting any Oscar buzz, as he definitely deserves it. I would say the weaker part of this movie is the legal investigations from Foster and Cumberbatch. While not bad, they’re just not as involving as the prison flashbacks.

Overall, a very solid movie, with great writing, acting, cinematography and so on. If you want an interesting insight into one man’s fight for freedom, then this is a good watch.

4 – Watch Whenever You Can

The final movie for this post only just came out a couple of days ago and it’s Jurassic Park vs Planet of the Apes: Dawn of Epicness! Unlike Coming 2 America, I never actually bothered to catch-up on the previous Godzilla and King Kong movies, because I didn’t have much inclination to seek out the origin stories of why two giant monsters are having an epic street brawl.

There is a plot to Godzilla vs Kong, but honestly who cares! If the main story featured less of those boring generic Marvel wannabe human characters then maybe I might kind of care for the plot. It’s honestly a drag whenever the monsters aren’t on screen hitting something. I realise that sounds a bit neanderthalish of me, but trust me that’s the only reason why I even bothered to walk into that cinema.

I was only interested in seeing the bearded monkey and the hunchback dinosaur fight and when the film finally delivers that it was awesome! There are explosions, the hits are brutal, some extras get killed and when they get to Hong Kong there is some pretty neon lighting in the background during the final battle, so it’s a bonus that it’s a pretty fight!

Overall if they cut out the plot then this is a perfect turn off your brain fun movie. If you can see this in cinemas it’s definitely worth the price even with the yawn inducing human characters. If not, I highly recommend skipping ahead to see all the awesome monster fights.

4 – Watch Whenever You Can

Up next is a Patty Vat Cupcake update so stay tuned for that. Blog Complainer signing out.