Hello, it’s me The Blog Complainer, and for some reason I decided to watch this movie. (Eeek!) Ever since I started reviewing movies, one of my aspirations has been to review the start of one film and be around long enough to see the second. I thought I might get close to achieving that goal with A Quiet Place 2, but no, a Pandemic happened so The Kissing Booth 2 could steal all of the glory. I’m only reviewing this movie because I just finished The Disneyathon yesterday and, god dammit, this is my time and I want to get my way!

I reviewed the first movie back in my more aggro days, I guess. This is the follow-up to  the hit first film where Joey King and her beefed up best friend are in their final year of High School. Meanwhile Joey King’s extra beefy boyfriend is studying at Harvard for a reason I don’t care to analyse. But hey, there is this really attractive girl who is a confidant for beefer boy and since Joey King only talks to her hubby every 2 months, something really saucey could possibly be going on over there. Back at home a new hotter boy swims into the Joey King net and they really hit it off. Oooh La La!

There is also another Kissing Booth fundraiser in the works and a Dance Off competition and dance practices for the competition and the decision to choose which school to go to and a Halloween party and another conflicted romance and a Sports Carnival and a Thanskgiving party and finally a token gay romance for good measure. The writers of this movie must have thought ‘Let’s make The Kissing Booth 2 the most epic movie ever by making it 2 hours longer, having multiple complex romances and multiple complex storylines all going on at the same time so the audience will really feel the epicness of our epica piece of ModerN ArT!‘

I have honestly suppressed my memories of Kissing Booth 1 so I wouldn’t have a clue which is the worst. Even when there is more shit going on than there needs to be, none of it is remotely interesting because you instantly know where it all ends up. The most surprising thing is this one ends on a cliffhanger so I guess this one is better because it wasn’t all on a happy note.

I don’t know what else to say. It wasn’t at all fun to sit through because not only is it way too long, the jokes are pandering, and it’s all such melodramatic soap opera nonsense. Bored stiff does not begin to describe my feelings toward this movie. Luckily I am a dead man walking and I want to see how our Twilight-like love triangle romance will blossom in The Kissing Booth 3.

So yeah, it’s not good a movie at all. I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone who hadn’t sat through the first, but it’s better than that 365 Days movie on Netflix. Now that’s a real movie that people can go to watch and die. Blog Complainer, signing out.