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Horrid Horrors 2019 – Final Week: The Haunting of Sharon Tate

Our final movie to end off this year of horror badness is probably the worst film I have seen come out of 2019. It’s so bad that I have no idea how I’m going to give my usual positive rating because literally everything is wrong with this film!

Firstly, the title is not just misleading, it’s completely false! I thought it would be about some stupid teens crashing at the place Sharon Tate was murdered. Then Sharon Tate’s ghost would try to kill the teens because one of them is a descendant of one of the Charles Manson people. My plot sounds pretty dumb, but the actual movie is much worse.

The story is about Sharon Tate and friends crashing at the place where their eventual deaths happened. That’s seriously it, they just sit around doing nothing interesting for 90 minutes while the Manson family stalk them for no reason. Also the haunting is referring to Sharon Tate having nightmares over and over again, which is still very confusing.

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He just thinks I’m crazy.

The characters aren’t very interesting to follow and it’s really hard to believe that they’re friends because of the lack of chemistry and all of their arguing. There is a couple that Sharon Tate doesn’t like because she thinks they’re scheming behind her back but this ultimately goes nowhere and it’s adding conflict for the hell of it. Sharon Tate also seems to get along better with one of the guys than she does her own husband. This also goes nowhere, not that it was anything interesting to begin with.

Then there is Sharon Tate who stands out as being the most insufferable character in the movie. She’s played by loveable Disney Channel star Lizzie McGuire who seems to be trying her best, but the delivery is off so she’s as bad as everyone else. She’s so terrible that she really feels like someone dressing up as Sharon Tate, a vibe that carried over for the rest of movie as I also never once believed that this all takes place in the 60’s.

By the way this is a horror movie, a really crappy one to put it bluntly. Every time the movie thinks something is scary you’ll hear this over exaggerated ear blasting sound and, headphone users beware, this stuff takes up about 85% of the movie. The Manson family are portrayed as generic horror stalkers, which is quite inaccurate as the real people were more like pot smoking hippies. (Like this movie really cares about subtle details like that.) They come off really cartoonish as whenever they speak they sound like cartoon super-villains.

A scene that stood out to me is when Sharon Tate and her friend are up on a walk at the Hollywood hills and they just walk past these girls and the music gets super loud for no reason. “Oh no, two young girls are walking past me!” I point this moment out as it’s so obnoxious as its relying on the fact you already know who these people are to be scary. Which is such poor story telling because the movie needs to earn that and not bank on my knowledge of a horrible tragedy from 50 years ago. It’s quite slimy and pathetic to be honest.

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Boo! We’re based on real murderers so we’re instantly scary.

You also get to see the murders been recreated, which I’m presuming is the most accurate thing the movie got correct besides getting the names and the location right. It’s quite uncomfortable and doesn’t have much purpose besides been shocking and edgy. We only see the murders during Sharon Tate’s “nightmares” another overused trope I hate!

The nightmares tie into the most forced pointless deeper meaning I have ever seen in a movie. The characters start talking destiny and the choices we all make. It’s apparently like rewriting a script. It’s shown heavily at the very end when Sharon Tate survives her encounter while looking at her dead body in the real world. It’s so confusing as I don’t think the movie had any idea what this pretentious nonsense means.

Positive rating time because I’m over this movie. The dialogue is terrible but has an occasional unintentional funny line. The camera work is dreadfully bad as most of the time it’s not properly focused on the thing we’re meant to be following. My favourite moment is when it’s the middle of the night and one of the Manson members moves past the sliding door. The timing is so off that it earned a chuckle from me. Lastly it’s a horror movie so every character has dropped 500 IQ points. If it was really based on the actual story and if Sharon Tate really cared about her baby then call the bloody police to protect you and the baby instead of your idiot friends!

There’s my recommendation. Watch this if you really want to suffer for 90 minutes. Or, if you want to see this story done properly, watch Once Upon A Time in Hollywood because it’s awesome, Sharon Tate is barely in it and the Manson family are treated like clowns.

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You can do better this Halloween.

We have come to end of another horror filled October. This was fun and I hoped you enjoyed going through this short series with me. Have a great Halloween and I have been The Blog Complainer, signing out.

Horrid Horrors Ranking List

 

Cameron Black

I review stuff and hate on everything you ever loved. But I’m still a super nice guy and make pretty entertaining content.

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