Spoilers for anything Game of Thrones related
Hello it’s me The Blog Complainer. I can’t believe I’m still talking about this rubbish show, which is why I wanted to bring it up again as I have realised I have more to say. Back when Season 7 was the worst season of the show, I watched some videos on how people would fix the season’s biggest flaws and it sounded like an interesting idea. It was the penultimate episode The Bells that sealed the deal and I immediately got to work on how I would properly end this show.
I made a rule that I cannot touch the first six seasons. Even as tempting as it is I have to start where the 6th season ended. My version is just one 13 episode long season which, if you haven’t noticed, is the same amount as seasons 7 & 8 combined. It’s not much leg room with all the stuff that happens, but I going to take my best crack at it.
This first part is all based around Season 7 as it’s quite similar to the show so we’re going to move through that quite quickly. The other 4 parts will be much slower as things start to heat up and the changes get a lot more drastic. I will make some points, but mainly this is just for fun and hopefully to entertain.
Episode 1 – Dragonstone
My version also starts off with Arya killing the Freys. The first major difference happens later when she finds her uncle Edmure locked in the cells. At some point Walder Frey’s wife will mention that Edmure’s wife, Roslin, is held at Riverrun by the mute, Ilyn Payne, and, if you remember he’s on Arya’s list. There you go the return of three forgotten characters!
Bran and Meera arrive at Castle Black. Bran tells Edd they need to send an army over the Wall as The Night King is close to breaking through. Edd believes him and starts sending ravens. We get our first glimpse at Bran’s powers when they notice Jon’s abandoned Direwolf Ghost just resting in the stables. Before Meera can say anything, Bran already knows Jon’s the King in the North. My Meera won’t be written out of the story, but chooses to stay at Castle Black while Bran heads for Winterfell.
At Winterfell all that boring meeting stuff will still be there as it is important. A raven arrives from Castle Black. We see Brienne and Pod return from Riverrun and Tormund takes his wildlings to Eastwatch. At some point Davos will send a raven about the White Walkers to Gendry who is at White Harbour, not King’s Landing.
Not much change at King’s Landing. The only big difference is Cersei doesn’t take Daenerys’ arrival that seriously so the ballistas don’t exist yet. They’ll also mention their confusion over the Twins been taken by their most valued prisoner. Jaime always felt it was a bad idea leaving Payne in charge of Riverrun. Cersei isn’t too concerned about Riverrun and orders Jaime to have their men retreat to Casterly Rock. Later on Cersei is feeling a bit lonely so she entices Jaime into having sex, after which she tells Jaime to march for Highgarden to bring that old hag to justice.
The stuff with the Hound and the Brotherhood will remain the same. Dany’s arrival at Dragonstone will be same except she won’t say that dumb line at the end of the episode.
Episode 2 – The Queen’s Justice
At Dragonstone, We’ll have the same conversation that Dany and Varys have from the show. Lady Olenna is not at Dragonstone, but back at Highgarden and she sent a raven that Lannister forces have been spotted in the Reach. Dany sends the Iron Fleet and the Dornish to the rescue. Tyrion suggests sending the Unsullied to capture Casterly Rock, weakening Cersei’s armies. To remove Melisandre and make Varys more useful he will tell Dany about Jon Snow, so then Hot Pie won’t look like Westeros’ new Master of Whispers. Lastly, The romantic scene between Missandei and Grey Worm will also be in my version.
Arya and Edmure arrive at Riverrun. Edmure never thought he would have to take his family home. Confident Arya tells Edmure she can take Riverrun with no blood shed. She’ll use her faces to sneak in as a maid and this will get her into Ilyn Payne’s room. He’ll be resting when the kind maid reveals to be Arya Stark. He wakes up with the maid repeatably stabbing him in the chest. He’ll try to crawl away, but Arya will make his last minutes a living hell. The gates will be open so Edmure’s men capture the Freys in their pajamas as they have proven in the past to be not the greatest military strategists. Edmure is reunited with his wife and he’ll tell Arya that Jon and Sansa have Winterfell. Arya leaves admiring her brand new face.
Sam’s poop montage will remain the same. Jim Broadbent will get a letter from Castle Black and he won’t really care about it. Sam is eyeing the restricted section and late at night he steals some books on The Night King, the Targaryen dynasty and most importantly The Horn of Winter. It’s from the books and it’s a horn that can basically bring down the entire Wall. I will admit it’s quite jarring to be introducing this McGuffin device so late in the game, but they needed a good enough reason to go on a suicide mission.
Cut to Winterfell where a raven from the Citadel and Dragonstone arrive. Jon and Sansa will fight over these letters. Davos will step in saying and you won’t believe this, but there is Dragonglass at Dragonstone. They’ll both be amazed! Jon decides he’s heading for Dragonstone and they send a raven up North.
Sansa is quite sulky about Jon’s decision and here is where Littlefinger reveals his true intentions, which is something the show really botched. Basing on what we already know – Littlefinger apologises for what happened with Ramsay, but there was a point to it. He knew who he was and it was all a necessary step to make her a stronger person. Sansa will be shocked, but Littlefinger will mention how much she has changed for the better. ‘Let your brother go after the Dragon Queen, they’ll fight the undead and kill Cersei. We’ll watch it from a distance and when the carnage is all over there will be no one left to claim the throne. We will be queen and king of the ashes.’
Jaime and Bronn will meet Randyll Tarly and his son on their way to Highgarden. Euron’s ambush will remain the same, no problems there. After that Highgarden will be in complete ruin. Lady Olenna’s final scene will remain the same except she will also mention ‘It’s amazing that no one would ever expect a low born lord, like Petyr Baelish of orchestrating one of the biggest assassination in the Seven Kingdoms. He’s as dangerous as your sister.’
Episode 3 – The Spoils of War
I left King’s Landing very much the same. Theon returns to Dragonstone and the Unsullied has already begun their march for Casterly Rock. Jon and Dany’s interactions will remain mostly the same as Dany isn’t interested in The White Walkers as she just lost Highgarden. She’ll send a raven for some extra support to recently forgotten character, Daario! Varys will also suggest forming an alliance with Edmure Tully.
Bran arrives at Winterfell and he’ll be weird around Sansa and Littlefinger. Littlefinger won’t just do nothing, instead he’ll address his concerns with Sansa and maybe the other lords. The Hound and the Brotherhood also arrive in this episode for a quick stop over. The Hound will have a scene with Sansa and Brienne. Arya’s scene with Ed Sheeran isn’t in my version, but her reunion with Hot Pie and Nymeria made the cut.
Sam reads the restricted books and Gilly reveals she’s pregnant. Here is where Sam meets the infected Jorah. He’ll be sent to Valyria the next day as by the end of the month the transformation will be complete. Later at night Sam will try to treat Jorah, but will fail. He’ll be expelled from The Citadel and he agrees to smuggle Jorah to Horn Hill. Shorter than the TV version, but I didn’t really have that much to work with and besides my Sam is needed elsewhere.
Jaime sends a raven to Cersei about Olenna. Shortly after Lannister forces will be attacked by a Dothraki Horde and then Drogon. *Note – The food remains completely intact! Dany lands her dragon and this is when a desperate Jaime charges at her. Dany sees Jaime, but Bronn pushes him out of the way and is burned alive in the progress. Bronn sacrifices himself so we can avoid his pointless Season 8 storyline, but on the bright side it’s a pretty good way for him to go.
Episode 4 – Heartsbane
We start with the Unsullied having a swift victory at Casterly Rock and is then surrounded by the Iron Fleet and Lannister men. Dany gets news of this and she sends half of her Dothraki. Jaime fell into the river, but it’s not too deep so he can be dragged out and be horrified by the former remains of his best pal. Randyll and Dickon will be executed same as the show. Dany also receives a raven that Jorah is at Horn Hill. The rest of the Dothraki take Jaime and the rest of the caravan back to Dragonstone.
Arya arrives at Winterfell and is reunited with Gendry who is struggling to get into the castle walls. She’ll be reunited with her sister and brother shortly after. Her sparring scene with Brienne will remain the same. Gendry tells Sansa he’s need help getting to Eastwatch so Brienne and Pod offer to go with him. At Dragonstone Jon convinces Theon to go to Casterly Rock and my version features no kick to the phantom groin. Jon catches up with Tyrion and he mentions the threat up North.
Dany reunites with Jorah and is introduced to Sam and Gilly. Here is where Dany tells Sam about his father and brother and it will playout exactly same as it did in the show. Jorah swears to fight for her for however long he has left. Dany thanks him and asks him to convince Edmure Tully to fight for them. (Yeah, I’m also sending Jorah super far away immediately after reuniting with Dany.) Also earlier than the show I have Sam giving his family sword to Jorah before parting ways. Sam tells Gilly to stay in Horn Hill where she’ll be safe while he heads for Winterfell.
Dany returns to Dragonstone and shortly after gets into an argument with Tyrion. Jon finds them together and he brings up the threat up North. Tyrion backs him up and Dany says she will help him, but only if he bends the knee.
Cersei is all caught up on the battle. Qyburn brings up another message, which Cersei will just read later. Cersei is worried for her brother as she reveals she is pregnant. Qyburn will mention that he’s been working on a secret weapon that he currently calls ‘The Dragon Killer.’
Episode 5 – Bend The Knee
A key difference in my version is Bran’s Three-Eyed Raven powers, actually do something. Through the weirwood tree Uncle Benjen contacts him that thanks to the Wildlings they found the Horn of Winter in an abandoned Wildling village. Unfortunately The Night King also knows it’s here and they’re surrounded. All he has is the Children of the Forest (Yes they’re not all dead.), some giants, the Wildlings and the Night’s Watch. They desperately need help if they have a chance of escaping. Many ravens are sent.
Jorah meets Edmure about 50 miles away from Casterly Rock. Jorah tells him about all the great things Daenerys has done and why he should bend the knee to her. Edmure decides to consider it. A few days have past, Jaime is at Dragonstone and imprisoned. He’ll also reunite with his brother and discuss being on opposite sides of the war. Jon shows Dany where the Dragonglass is, same as show. Jon tells her he got word from Eastwatch that things have escalated and he needs to leave. He’ll rave on it for a while and she’ll tell him she really needs to think.
Cutaway to Winterfell, Robin Arryn arrives at Winterfell and is welcomed by his cousins, except Arya who is too focused on Littlefinger. Arya has noticed her sister has distanced herself since her arrival. She’s convinced Littlefinger is driving them apart. Later in the episode Arya brings up these concerns. Sansa won’t listen to it and storms out. We’ll have a bit of a cliffhanger where Sansa goes into Arya’s room and finds her bag of faces.
A meeting is held at Dragonstone. Tyrion vouches to let Jaime go so he can convince Cersei to surrender. Varys will take a ship to Winterfell to get Sansa to fight for their cause. Dany allows Jon to mine the Dragonglass. She also agrees to take Jon up to Eastwatch. Missandei agrees to hold Dragonstone in Dany’s absence.
We get a pretty intense fight at Casterly Rock. The Dothraki and Unsullied keep the Lannister soldiers at bay, but they can’t handle the Ironborn from the sea and they’re close to defeat. Luckily Jorah and the Riverrun forces arrive to help them out. Lannister soldiers are dealt with, but Euron is still pushing them back. Then he’s surrounded by Theon’s forces. Realising he’s defeated Euron taunts Theon before tossing a tied up Yara into the sea below. Theon dives in after her, while Euron’s fleet takes a few more hits before making their escape. Yara is saved and the castle is theirs.
That’s it for part 1 because the last two episode are much longer than I anticipated. I guess I’ll put a little teaser saying:
Will Jaime convince Cersei to surrender her throne?
Will Jon and Dany get to Eastwatch in time?
How will Sansa deal with Arya?
Will Hot Pie become the new master of whispers?
Where will all of the characters be placed in the next episode?
Stay tuned for Part 2: My Ending to Game of Thrones: Part 2 – Rewriting The Mission up North