Cold. So very very cold. Greatest Writer in the world’s log 0722018: The hole had to be put on hold because a big blizzard came and my hands instantly turned into ice. Ohhh, I shouldn’t have changed into this stupid Dothraki outfit and I should have ate something before the weather got worst. I’m basically in my birthday suit out here. Luckily before the storm worsened, I had the genius idea of using my mighty jaw to tear up my couch to make clothes. The big cushions became my pants and jumper and the little cushions became my gloves, beanie and boots. I had an idea to tear up my TV so I can use the wires to help hold up my clothes but the cold makes it much more difficult. (Moans) I can’t believe it, I’m going to die wearing my couch! I would end it right now and get over it but that doesn’t make a great story. A great story involves our hero sticking it out to the very last breath, taking life by the balls and saying ‘I’m awesome and I can’t be beaten that easily!’ I dedicate my last dance to you my beautiful people! Death doesn’t feel to bad. It’s happening. God is speaking to me and he’s saying ‘What on earth are you wearing?’
A Passage by The Anti Blog Complainer
We’re slowly whittling away through this show and it’s now only a couple of weeks before Season 8’s premier date. Season 5 is an interesting season to talk about as it features some of the biggest and more questionable departures from the books yet. Once again we’ll focus on the pros and cons of this season but this time, we’re starting with the pros and working our way down because I don’t want get the wrong idea when we jump into the cons of this season.
THE GOOD STUFF
I did enjoy Season 5 as it features some of the best acting, cinematography and writing in the entire season thus far.
We’ll start off with what I think is the best storyline of the season. With the old fart who shat gold dead and The two Lannister Bros off on their own adventures. Cersei is now on her own and surrounded by enemies. All she has is her sweet boy Tommen, his age jump is a bit jarring but I can forgive it as I actually like the change to make him older. While not really leadership material, he does have the right motives to become a great king. He is also old enough to be sexually attracted to Margaery thus giving her a greater edge. There is a great scene with the two queens where there is a battle of how long Cersei can keep a straight face.
This is also where the new religious cult, ‘The Sparrows’ come into play and led by Jonathan Pryce of all people. They make great antagonists and it’s pretty satisfying when Cersei realises that they’re an actual threat until they have taken her prisoner. I also found Cersei’s Walk of Atonement a really powerful moment in the same way as I found watching two nut-job parents burn their child alive, It’s devastating and very effective. It’s a great storyline all around. Lena Headey should have won an Emmy for this but I’m guessing Peter Dinklage needed another one for some unknown reason.
Arya also has a pretty great season as she finally arrives in Braavos and is reunited with Jaqen H’ghar. She spends the whole season learning from the faceless weirdos which is somewhat intriguing and not really what I expected from Season 2. We learn to become a faceless man you need to lose all sense of identity to fully become no one. I’m glad Arya didn’t do that because I want to see her finish off her death list. What we get is one more big step into dark bad-ass assassin Arya, as she is face to face with someone actually noteworthy from her list. The kill from last season was great but this one ups the ante for being extra gruesome and so deliciously sweet.
This season also makes Dany feel more important as Tyrion is on a quest to meet her which is pretty exciting and super satisfying when it actually happen! I also liked what they did with Jorah as he got a lot more attention this season. Though there are some minor problems with both storylines but I want to segue into a new issue that sprung up in season 4 but has gotten worse and that is great or interesting characters that the show gave a crappy exit. I have been calling it, Sucky Deaths.
I’m mainly focusing on Ser Barristan Selmy here, one of my favourites from the books and one who wasn’t adapted very well. His return in Season 3 was the weakest point of the Astapor storyline and after that he was just an older boring Jorah. Why I don’t like his death is because they kept tell us of how great of a warrior he is and the first time we see him fight he is quickly owned by bunch of masked weirdos in seconds. They also give this guy way more attention than usual and in his last episode, it all looks like it’s set for him to die. This is the main one here and if there is more I’ll be sure to mention it.
THE BAD STUFF
Season 5 is a good season but for Game of Throne standards it’s pretty bad and we’ll start off with Jon boy and Stannis the Mannis. A lot of people don’t like Stannis’s exit to the season but it didn’t bother me as I felt it was consistent with his character. He always had a really big ego and Melisandre knew that. I found burning his daughter at the stake was the final straw for most of his people and even in near defeat, his ego kept him going. Although I’m not a fan of how they filmed his death, from a technical point of view, it’s a sucky death.
Jon had a pretty rough season too. We’ll start with the good as I enjoyed the scenes he had with Stannis and I also liked the exits of Mance Rayder and Janos Slynt. Probably the highlight of Jon’s storyline is the battle at Hardhome. It’s an excellent sequence as Jon, Tormund and the others all get a great moment in the spotlight. It’s also the episode that sets up how big of a threat The White Walkers really are. My favourite moment is the very eerie scene where The Night King raises the dead of all of Jon’s fallen comrades while Jon and friends are completely helpless.
Though before that, Jon becomes the Lord Commander and pulls some pretty dumb moves. Killing Slynt was great, but making Thorne the First Ranger I could not understand the logic behind that??? Give it to someone you trust, like Edd, REMEMBER HIM!! There is also that kid who spends the whole season giving Jon the evil eye. Jon is of course oblivious to this and to everyone else who hates him!!! It’s especially worse when he comes back from Hardhome and doesn’t tell any of his brothers about what happened other than Sam!! Around this time Lord Commander Jon Snow had become the most important character on the show and it’s here where he’s murdered at the hands of his Night Watch brothers. (That’s Game of Thrones for you.) I actually quite liked this scene although, Thorne’s reasoning for killing Jon is kind of weak. It’s The Wildlings, they’re bad and you suck Lord Snow! Though Jon should have seen this coming but again, he isn’t known for being smart.
The next two storylines are easily the worst of the season and we’re starting with the return of boring old Winterfell. The biggest departure from the books is here with Littlefinger sending Sansa to marry Ramsay. We know Littlefinger is a very smart guy, we know Sansa is a very strong woman and we know Ramsay is a literal psychopath so do I need to explain why this is really dumb! I know the Boltons control Winterfell but couldn’t Littlefinger pick someone else over Ramsay. The show tells us Littlefinger doesn’t know who Ramsay is, which I think is stupid because the Littlefinger from 4 seasons ago would have done some recon work on who this guy is!! If he did know I think he would do what he told Cersei and wait for Stannis to weaken the Boltons, then come in to finish them off. That way they control Winterfell and Sansa could just marry someone more sane.
Whatever…it keeps going when Sansa gets to know Ramsay and it doesn’t raise any alarm bells. Like how he treats her former friend who he calls Reek and also Ramsay’s girlfriend who goes on about how he has strict standards when it comes to his girls. No It’s not until he rapes her on their wedding night is when she finally catches on. They’re not the only ones to suffer as Brienne literally does nothing the entire season. She finds Sansa in episode 2 and then follows her to Winterfell. After that she just stands around and waits all season. It’s super dumb in the last episode where she decides to get her revenge on Stannis and literally, as she walks away, is when Sansa lights the stupid candle that Brienne has been waiting for all season. It’s super funny!!
Last up is the Jaime and Bronn side quest in Dorne which is infamously known as being the worst storyline in the series. They’re on a quest to rescue Myrcella and they go to Dorne, they get captured, they get a slap on the wrist for breaking into their country and Myrcella dies. It’s just a storyline that goes nowhere and it really suffers by removing the political intrigue of Dorne. I hate what they did with Doran Martell! In the books he’s not just some old guy who sits in a chair, but rather is a very careful planner. No, that’s too complicated let’s make Ellaria Sand the correct person here. I liked Oberyn too, but I’m guessing she forgot he signed up for a Trial by Combat because her reasoning for killing Myrcella is just plain idiotic!!! I’m especially not a fan of how she and her daughters try to kill her in a well-guarded palace. Myrcella’s death might be worse than Selmy’s death and yes it’s another sucky death!! One final note, The Sand Snakes are completely unbearable, Nuff Said!!!
As I said at the start, Season 5 is interesting to talk about as one side of it has the greatness of the first 4 seasons while the other half rips from more inferior shows like The Walking Dead. I still enjoyed Season 5 and it’s still a high quality show so I’m giving it 7/10. The great stuff slightly out weights the stupid stuff and it’s less competent than previous seasons. I will say it gets better as it goes on and Mother’s Mercy might be one of my favourite episodes in the series. I would stay optimistic for Season 6.