Hey everyone, BC here. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to the new movies that came out but something came up after my last review that pushed back everything else I wanted to do this week. This is a show on Netflix that’s currently in the trending tab and been hated on for being the worst show on Netflix. I bet you’re thinking ‘You’re just going to say the same stuff the critics say because you hate everything I like’. I would normally agree with you but honestly I love this show!

Insatiable is a show about a young teenage girl played by an ex-Disney Channel star and she has been made fun of because she’s fat. She eats a lot and that makes her an easy target for the non-fatty’s to make their lives look better in comparison. This girl has been dubbed ‘Fatty Patty’ but I wouldn’t go that far, I would call her ‘Krabby Patty’ because she has a very crabby personality and patty goes with hamburgers and she likes to eat. (Or Jessie will work too.) Also it still applies when she ditches the fat suit. Krabby Patty’s motivation is to get revenge on those punks who mock her fat suit and the show is kicked off when she gets socked in the mouth by a guy with the most fake beard I’ve seen since The Greatest Showman.

This is when we’re introduced to the other main character, Bob, played by that wimpy suck-up guy from The Walking Dead except if he was more annoying and acted more gay like. Bob is an attorney, who is married (and very straight) and has a fun time being a beauty pageant coach. He is motivated to beat his rival who is also called Bob. A crazy blonde falsely accuses Bob of molesting her daughter, damaging his career in the process. Three months later Krabby Patty is put on trial for punching the fake beard man and her mum hires Loser Bob to defend her and we’re introduced to the creepy awkward humour this show has. Next day Loser Bob meets Krabby Patty who has ditched the fat suit and Bob looks at her thinking ‘I could use you for my own selfish reasons.’ That’s the premise folks!

insatiablef — Concerned about your weight? Then just get socked in the jaw and you’ll be as skinny as Patty in 3 months too.

By that premise there is no way you could think this show is terrible but some people found a way to ruin it by saying it’s got a horrible message about fat shaming and that there is a petition out there to cancel the show which I couldn’t disagree with. The reason why I love this show is because it’s so dumb and stupid that it is hilarious how bad this show is, especially in the last 5 episodes.

So the first episode starts off with Krabby Patty having a crush on Loser Bob because he is such a good guy. This episode sets up the unintentional sexual tension between the two Bobs when Other Bob struts around his office with no shirt on because he’s in the running for most shirtless scenes in media award along with that long-haired guy from The Kissing Booth and Jacob from Twilight. We’re also introduced to Bob’s wife who is a suck-up and also Patty’s best friend who clearly thinks of her as more than just a friend.

This first episode plays out like the opening 20 minutes of a movie. It sets up an obstacle with the court case and resolves the problem with Patty seducing the young mid 20’s store clerk who is supposed to be 17 I presume. Then ending the first act with Krabby Patty having a chance to kill or spare the fake beard man and setting up more trouble for Loser Bob when someone takes a photo of him with Handsome Bob’s daughter. Besides the awkward humour and the forced sexual moments we’ve got a pretty good first episode. How many more do we have to go?

11!

landscape-1532103066-screen-shot-2018-07-20-at-171047 — Why Can’t People See I Like Wearing My Fat Suit

Episode 2 is about the same problem as episode 1. Fake Beard Man was in a house fire and Krabby Patty is too hungover to remember if she committed the crime or not. Even though the last episode pretty much confirmed that she didn’t do it. So Krabby Patty, her friend and Store Clerk guy work together to solve the mystery meanwhile Krabby Patty has her first day at school without the fat suit because the show needs to convince us that she is a teenage girl instead of a 30 year old woman with a chip on her shoulder. Bob’s wife has a subplot where she wants to invade Handsome Bob’s home but only to discover that the evil blond woman has Bob’s molesting photos. (She would’ve gotten away with it too if it weren’t for this meddling trench coat!)

Back at school we’re introduced to someone who looked like they just walked off the set of Teen Wolf or Vampire Diaries. He’s not relevant now but we’ll get into him more later. Later on out of nowhere the show sets-up a romance between Loser Bob’s son and the evil blond lady because the show wants to be like Twin Peaks with it’s ensemble cast of cartoon caricatures. By the end of the episode we see Dallas Roberts’ over the top acting reach its peak when he solves the mystery of the house fire and Krabby Patty brings out her breathtaking acting to intimidatingly stare Fake Beard Man to death. Fake Beard Man dies and the show thinks Patty’s last line about revenge is a good spot to end the episode even though this is on Netflix and you don’t have to wait a whole week for the next episode to come out!

Miss Bareback Buckaroo has our two selfish leads going to Alabama so they can finally do some training for beauty pageants instead of trying to cover up for an attempted murder by repeating how you got from a motel to a gas station while drunk in 10 minutes. We’re introduced to Beverly D’Angelo’s character, Stella Rose, Bob’s mentor and the person that got him into pageanting. This part of the episode is amazing – Krabby Patty really wants to impress Bob on this trip so she goes out of her way to seduce him meanwhile Bob asks Stella Rose for advice because even though he has 20 years of experience he is still a rookie at beauty pageant coaching. Stella Rose suggests he needs to prove that he can control her so Bob’s way of solving this problem is to be an ass and that’ll put her on a leash.

Afterwards we learn that Stella Rose has other motives when she tells Patty that Bob will leave her for someone better. This is the first of many scenes where Patty changes motives out the blue because someone said one line of dialogue that completely changes her view of the current situation. This may sound a bit confusing right now but trust me you’ll understand 4 episodes down the line. Bob eavesdrops on the situation (another recurring theme you’ll also discover as we go through this show) and takes Patty to a restaurant to reveal that he pulled a Mr Miyagi and had been subtly teaching her how to do the walk, even though 10 minutes ago he had no idea how to control her or how pageants work and we can’t have a touching scene without more child molestation jokes. (Isn’t this show just the best? It takes you by surprise every time!)

Bob figures out that Stella Rose wants Krabby Patty for herself to get revenge on Bob. Oh wait, now she wants to have sex because our show needs more characters forcing themselves on other people. Then Bob finds out that Patty wants to have sex too. Bob rightfully rejects her and that makes Patty do another 180 in the span of 5 minutes. Patty discovers Stella Rose is using her too and then she decides to eat her problems away. Bob shows up to prove to her that they’re the same because I haven’t been reminded of that enough yet in this episode. By the end we learn Stella Rose’s actual motivation is to beat Bob at the pageant and destroy him for breaking her heart. Oh okay so I’ll just forget that earlier scene in the bedroom ever happened, got ya. Then we get another stinger ending where Patty does her 4th 180 and decides to break up Bob’s marriage because, why not?

Oh yeah, there were other filler subplots too, like Patty’s friend Nonnie, the clerk and Blondie’s kid driving up to Alabama to save Patty being corrupted by the Evil Loser Bob and Coralee’s (Bob’s wife’s) hillbilly sister showing up for no reason other than to show us Coralee came from the same background. Oh and Shirtless Bob shows up too so he can be a nuisance.

ins_103_unit_00011r-1280x640 — Krabby Patty Riding Bareback. Get It?

Episode 4 starts at the gym so we can see all the characters in tight outfits and working out and other stuff. It’s here that Loser Bob, Coralee and Handsome Bob’s wife (who we’ll never see again for the rest of the season after this episode) decide to host a Mother-Daughter pageant and Bob decides Patty and Coralee should team up. While this is going on that plot line with Bob’s son and the old lady comes up again where his parents find out. Meanwhile Handsome Bob and Loser Bob agree to MC the pageant show together which is fine if your goal was to make this as gay as you possibly can. A Mother-Daughter Pageant show is the perfect time to show off a manly musical number.

In the span of 25 minutes or less Patty and Coralee are now best friends and are ready for the pageant show meanwhile Patty’s mum brings along Patty’s friend because she is such a selfish person just like the girl who wants all the people who made fun of her suit to suffer and die for insulting her. Okay now it’s showtime and we need a musical number so we have two grown men singing ‘The Time of my Life’ which I recommend you just watch it for yourself and more shirtless Bob too so the ladies can enjoy this very manly scene too. The main event starts, Regina (Blonde Evil Lady) sabotages the main character’s costumes, Nonnie’s partner gets too drunk to finish the show, Patty gives another heartfelt speech in case you were over the narrating, Patty wins because the story can’t continue if she loses and Regina is sent to prison for being a sore loser, again.

The episode ends with Patty and her mum solving their troubles and wanting to thank Coralee for her help but she turns them away because she was only using Patty to impress the snobby rich mums. I’m fine with this revelation because that’s sticking with her character, Patty should’ve seen this coming especially since in the last few days she has been lied to and duped by 3 other people. But no, she continues to be easily manipulated by other people she knows they’re a bit off only to be shocked when they reveal that they’ve been using her. Well because Krabby Patty is so shocked that she decides to show Coralee Stella Rose’s necklace and reveal that they had an affair back in the day.

BOOM! End credits! I bet you can’t wait until next… oh yeah we’ve already released the entire season, dammit. But too bad for you I’ve planned to split this into 3 parts so you won’t know what I think about the other 8 episodes until I release Part 2 and 3, HA take…. Unless you’ve came in late and I’ve already released the other 2 parts then that really makes me the fool huh?