Oh, I’m sorry, Anti couldn’t make it because the two us had a clash and it was the most amazing fight in human history. Anti had been trying to hack my account for the last week because of what I said about the trailer for Aquaman and Fantastic Beasts. So he tracked me down and we had an EPIC FIGHT! This fight would have easily filled 3 whole blogs and 1 TV special. There were like fireworks, explosions everywhere and I got to kiss a cute girl too. But I finally defeated him and he won’t be coming back until I require him again. I’m so sorry that none of this was recorded. I remember the cute girl had a camera but it must’ve broke when Anti pushed us off a building. But I don’t think you were missing much anyway.
No, this isn’t Click-bait because I told you what happened and you didn’t click this to see Anti but to read my awesome review for Teen Titans Go!
Introduction: Since there are so few good animated shows out there, companies just resort to rebooting what was popular back in the day and if you look into it there are a lot of old shows getting a modern reboot. For example Anamaniacs, Invader Zim, Rocko’s Modern Life and even The Muppet Babies because of nostalgia and people will pay for that! Those are just the ones that are on their way but right now we’ve got The Magic School Bus on Netflix, Samurai Jack on Adult Swim and The Powerpuff Girls and Ben 10 both on Cartoon Network. Some of these turn out alright, others just sucked. That leads us to the first of the Cartoon Network Reboots – Teen Titans Go.
Teen Titans Go is the reboot of the 2003 Teen Titans and anyone who has seen that show will probably tell you that they despise this show. I never grew up with Teen Titans because I’m not into Anime and just like with Avatar: The Last Airbender I’ve only watched them very recently. So I’m very fresh to the series and I’m probably more familiar with Go than the original show. So, in honour of the new movie (which at the time of this review I can’t see because of where I live) and that New Dark Edgy Show I’ve decided to start my Superhero TV reviewing crusade by watching this tumour.
What Is This Show About: In preparation for this review I spent last Sunday afternoon watching almost 40 episodes of the first 3 seasons on Netflix to get a good feel of why people don’t like it. I wrote them all down too in case I forget what I’ve watched so let me explain the plot of the series.
Google says that Teen Titans Go follows the young heroes Robin, Raven, Cyborg, Starfire and Beast Boy as we follow their everyday lives when they’re not fighting crime. (Okay sounds intriguing.) It follows the Teens dealing with normal everyday adolescence issues (Yeah this sounds good, go on) such issues as having a staring contest to decide who has to do the laundry, going on a series of quests just to make a sandwich and of course occasionally fight crime when they’re done making their legendary sandwich.
Each episode of the show is stand alone and they all run for 11 minutes. Basically each episode will have time for 2 to 3 minutes of set-up 3 to 4 minutes to show off the conflict and about 2 to 3 minutes to wrap everything up. I’m not a fan of this format because it makes all the episodes as long as an episode of Oggy And The Cockroaches or a YouTube Parody Video. But, whatever, I’m sure they know what they’re doing. So let’s check out a few of these episodes.
The First Few Episodes: The first episode of the Teen Titans Go has the Titans interrupting Raven while she watches (groans) ‘Pretty Pretty Pegasus’. She tells them they must go on a quest so they can construct the Legendary Sandwich. Yes I know I’ve just mentioned it but that’s what most of these episodes are about, doing stupid stuff like fighting the sandwich guardians just to get some lettuce. The first episode was boring so let’s move onto Pie Bros where Cyborg acts like a spoiled brat and he and Beast Boy sing this song ….. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPlKVgSjCyU)
Alright, I’m going to skip ahead to The Date. Starfire is going on a date with Speedy so jealous Robin kidnaps Speedy and disguises himself as him to become the worst date ever and, in the process, the worst character on this show! In the original show Robin was my favourite character because he was a guy who just wanted to prove that he can do things on his own while also making sure he doesn’t leave his friends in the dirt and he’s always looking for ways to improve. Robin’s arc in the old show was a young cocky teen slowly becoming a heroic leader and being a great example for others to follow. This new Robin is just an ass. This definitely shows in the next episode where he just does what no leader should do – act like a self-obsessed jerk, someone who puts themselves over the rest of the team and someone who will do anything in their power to get their way and I loath this character.
If you thought Robin was bad then each Titan gets their chance to suck. Cyborg just shouts every line of dialogue he’s given, (Now that I think about it everyone on this show screams at the top of their lungs.) Starfire is a dipsy annoyance, Beast Boy is a meme machine and Raven I would say is as bad as Robin. All that stuff from the old show about her being moody because of her powers is gone for being more like Beast Boy and she’s also a jerk like everyone else. It was in the episode Laundry Day (another terrible episode) that I just gave up on watching them because I couldn’t take it anymore.
Teen Titans Go Hates You As Much As You Hate It: There is an episode called Parasite where the plot of the episode is Starfire has a big boil on her stomach and be prepared to be grossed out because Teen Titans Go watched Ren and Stimpy too and you deserve to have an empty stomach by the end of this episode. I guess Colours Of Raven is okay but the stupid comes back in Legs which is one of those episodes that the joke is what’s under Raven’s cloak and apparently no one has seen her legs before this episode because these characters are that self-obsessed. Waffles Waffles Waffles Waffles Waffles Waffles Waffles Waffles Waffles Waffles Waffles! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HOlXJ2EJxw)
In and Out has The Teen Titans become villains so they can break into an evil villains lair to not destroy it but to move into it so the evil villains have to destroy the lair to get away from these people who are being a pain!
Okay, let’s spice things up with the Top 10 TTG episodes that hate you the most!
Number 10 – Salty Codgers
Raven lets her whole team become old people because she secretly loves old people and she seriously needs help.
Number 9 – Boys Vs Girls
Want an episode where The Teen Titans stop being Teens? Well you’re in luck. Robin decides that girls are gross because they’ve cooties which is weird because he tries to flirt with Starfire in this episode. But, whatever, the message is boys are loud obnoxious edge lords and girls are emotional cry-babies and they have cooties so don’t go near them. Also, did I mention I hated Robin yet?
Number 8 – Campfire Stories
This episode isn’t really insulting but it has some of the most stunning animation for the stories and it’s beyond me why they don’t use any of these for the main show.
Number 7 – Leg Day
More creepy jokes about legs and more reasons to keep that bucket on your lap.
Number 6 – A tie between Garage Sale and Bottle Episode
They’re both about remembering stuff. Garage Sale is dumb and Bottle Episode is just filler.
Number 6 – A Cat’s Fancy
Starfire loves cats and Robin loves her. Robin has a brilliant plan to dress up as a cat, but that makes Starfire turn into a Crazy Cat Lady and this awful episode just writes itself.
Number 5 – Waffles
I just wanted to mention it again because it’s that awful.
Number 4 – Let’s Get Serious
This is the first episode where the writers decide to mock you, the audience, for not liking their show. So this one is about the Young Justice team telling the Kiddie Titans they’re not heroes because they’re not serious. So the Titans become just like that new Titan’s show coming out this year. It was kind of funny to start with but I grew bored because of how much of an insult this episode is.
Number 3 – The Dignity Of Teeth
This was the episode that grossed me out the most and I’m done talking about it because I can’t find my bucket anywhere.
Number 2 – The Fourth Wall
Control Freak shows The Titans a better time when they were in anime. The Titans learn that they’re on the worst TV show ever so the Titans break the fourth wall so they can directly insult you for asking for better humour, outside poopie and waffle jokes. I don’t understand these writers with telling their audience that they’re terrible people for suggesting how to improve their show. I’m guessing it’s a smart move when you’re aiming at -3 year olds.
Here Are Some Honourable Mentions:
– To all the episodes that watched and didn’t make it into this blog
– To the episodes that I didn’t watch at all because the remaining brain cells that I had left told me do something better with my life.
Finally My Number 1 Most Disgusted Episode of all time is… Drum Roll!
Oh what’s it going to be, what’s it going to be! Ohhh bet you can’t guess! You’ve already scrolled down enough to see it haven’t you? Well anyway here it is….
The Return of Slade
What an Atrocious episode!
For those of you who don’t know, Slade was the main antagonist of the first 2 seasons of the original Teen Titans. He was a quiet calm calculating thorn in the Titan’s backsides who kept popping up now and again to ruin their day. Slade was a guy who was always one step ahead of his opponents and he knew how to slowly break them psychologically. With a villain so great how could the Teen Titan Go writers mess this up? Well, for starters, Slade doesn’t even appear in the actual episode!
Slade’s encounter is dealt with off screen in the first minute of the episode. (You see why people hate this show now?) The actual episode is about The Titans turning a clown into a monster or something, I don’t care anymore. It’s another insult the people who watch your show episode. It’s got the click-bait title, the plot is extremely stupid, it insults the fans of the old show for liking the old show and this message is that kid shows shouldn’t be smart or clever shows but should just be colours, loud noises and the bar for comedy and plot is virtually touching the ground.
This is the worst episode because it’s all you need to know that this show is just a lazy cash grab that doesn’t care what their audience thinks. As long as the kids are watching, Teen Titans Go lives on.
Wrapping Things Up: I also watched the apparent best episode of this show 40%,40%,20% which I guess isn’t that bad. The only thing I liked about it is the animation and that song which is the best song in the whole show because the 80’s, Man. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GM8tRdFaWS0) The last episode I watched I felt was a very satisfying end for the characters because they all died! So the last episode I watched was called Ghost Boy, a terrible episode and that’s when I immediately removed it from my list and watched a better show on my list like Black Mirror. (Now I wished I reviewed that instead!)
Conclusion: So that’s the end of Teen Titans Go! But it’s only the beginning of the storm that’s coming over all the superhero shows out there. I made a poll about a week ago asking for what TV universe I should poke fun at and one kind person chose The Netflix’s Marvel series. So that’s on my list and I thank that one person who was kind enough to do my job for me. But don’t worry those other universes will get their turn soon enough.
So this was my experiment. I hope to slowly span out to other media and not just stick with other Superhero shows. From here I could go anywhere, maybe to documentaries or Anime or critically acclaimed shows or sit-coms or, the worst of them all, Reality TV. (Actually, scratch that last one!)
So Until Next Time, I’m The Blog Complainer, Signing Out.
