Hi, I’m The Blog Complainer and welcome to my living room. I know you can’t actually see my living room but just to give you an idea of what my living room looks like here’s a random stock photo that definitely looks like my living room.
So welcome to my home where I sit down on that giant couch you see overlooking some river that I currently don’t remember the name of. I sit there on my own because that’s how I get my serious work done. I watch Netflix movies with a bottle of water to keep me hydrated and focused on the thing I’m currently watching, a packet of junk food which I keep in the kitchen that I don’t know where it is in this picture, I’m sorry I suck at directions and remembering anything in general. Lastly I’ve got my trusted remote so I can pause the movie and rush over to the bathroom to release my bladder after a good 20 minutes of watching Netflix and yes I know where the bathroom is in this house.
After watching my three selected movies I write the review for you people to laugh at my work and since I’ve got no idea where the office is I just engrave my review on the wall of my bedroom from my left over pizza boxes (Which is the living room) and then just copy it when I get my bearings on where my office is. After that I go to bed for a good night sleep on the big couch and I repeat the same duty for 14 days and then I go and have a nice long shower in one of the rooms to get rid of the sticky chocolate goop and chip crumps all over my body because I sleep on that nice couch that looks as nice as it does in that photo. After that I go out and watch a real movie at the cinema to bring home a review for you guys and then the cycle repeats and it will keep on repeating until I lose my grip on reality and forget……….
Sorry about that I get carried away in my words sometimes, But anyway welcome to July’s edition of The BC’s Netflix Watchathon. If you want to know how this works then just go back to the last edition but if you’re too lazy here is the short version.
I review 3 movies in categories
Netflix Original for Netflix shows
Genre of the month for a movie that I’ve picked the genre for
The Reader’s Request which is something that I don’t pick but you pick.
Now I’ve got all that out of the way and now it’s time for the theme for this month. BLOCKBUSTERS. It’s July and they’re everywhere so it was pretty simple for me. If you don’t like it then I can’t help it but at least you’ve got next month to look forward to. If you couldn’t tell already, this is a long one so make sure you stay hydrated and take regular breaks if you’re going to make it to the end of this blog. But anyway let’s get started.
The Netflix Original
Alex Strangelove (2018)
Our Netflix Original of this month is another Teen movie woo-pee. It’s about a guy who questions his sexuality. Yeah I know I said I would stay away from indie movies this month but this one isn’t as out there as Swiss Army Man. It’s more like Kissing Booth except it’s not terrible.
So Alex Strangelove follows Alex Truelove (Trust me they’re the same person) a 20 something year old pretending to be 18. He’s a dorky weirdo who meets another dorky weird-ess and they become close friends and eventually close lovers. The plot really kicks off when our two love birds finally want to get down to business in a motel room away from anyone even though they tell everyone they know their plans because we all desperately need to know your boardroom plans. (God Damn Teenagers) But things get complicated for Alex when he meets a guy that he starts to get along with a lot more than his girlfriend.
The plot of this movie is pretty similar to Kissing Booth you can predict what is going to happen next without even thinking about it so it’s very safe and uninspired. I think what this movie does get right is with the character interactions especially with Alex’s friendship with his girlfriend and his gay friend. The scenes with them are really good and it made me feel bad for the other when Alex had to deal with the other close friend to have more great scenes with.
Alex himself is an interesting character as he’s a guy who is always nervous, he over thinks things and doesn’t really know what he wants which is something I think most young people could relate to. He’s also a bit quirky but he’s doesn’t go overboard and stays on a relatable level instead of becoming a cartoon character like another Teen movie I know. The other characters did a good job in their roles but none of them are as interesting as the main character.
I wasn’t expecting this but this is one of the most beautiful movies I’ve seen so far this year. The highlight is the cinematography and the lighting – it’s really good, especially inside showing off the light inside a house or the bathroom and I’m really impressed how the parties looked. It felt like a living breathing frat party. If I had to say something negative, which I do, (not very surprising coming from me) it’s just that the humour fails for me.
The humour in this movie is mostly just sex jokes and comparing wiener size with other animals and that gets old really fast. I know what age these people are and that’s one of the main things on their mind for most of the time (But in this movie’s case all the time) but did you have to keep reminding me? Also the scene where one of the guys licks a frog and starts seeing stuff, The CG looked really bad and later they start showing floating text bubbles and I didn’t like any of that.
I think this movie is also kind of like Love, Simon (Review Here: https://www.moviequotesandmore.com/love-simon-2018-movie-review-1/) where for a movie about being gay is kind of sidelined for the gay lead and his girl needing to have sex like right now, everyone we know needs to know too and that’s the only thing on their mind for the whole week. Yeah I know I’m being harsh I guess I’ll say one more positive thing before wrapping this up. Alex’s best friend for a side character I didn’t really mind. I normally find the sidekicks pretty annoying but this one passes since he is used just right and isn’t overused. (I feel like that just inspired another discussion blog!)
Final Verdict is a 7/10 pretty good movie I can’t put it any higher because it doesn’t do anything remarkable it fits right in with the other films of this genre. If you’re into this type of movie I recommend at least one watch and it’s probably best watched with close friends not a first date type movie if you know what I mean.
Genre Of The Month
The Lone Ranger (2013)
I had a tough time trying to pick which movie I wanted to talk about this month and I nailed it down to the reboot of that old TV show that people of today would vaguely know or just shrug their shoulders at and it’s made by those guys who made all the Pirate of the Caribbean movies. The Lone Ranger movie aka that movie with Jack Sparrow but if he had a massive heat stroke in the middle of the Sahara desert and he hasn’t had any rum for 15 years. Oh and somewhere in there it is about a ranger who comes back from the dead or something.
Does anyone remember that flop John Carter? If you don’t then The Lone Ranger joins the graveyard of failed Disney franchises that cost a lot because the people at Disney have a hard time getting along with the little slave drivers making their big budget movies. This movie got a lot of bad press when it was released because it’s hot to make the same comments that everyone else is saying. (I should know a bit about that) To be perfectly honest 2013 was a pretty bad year for blockbuster movies we had movies like Man of Steel, Star Trek into Darkness and The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug and they’re all very boring.
Then we get The Lone Ranger and it’s pretty damn awesome. Besides Iron Man 3 I would say this is one of the best blockbuster movies of that year. The Lone Ranger is a very interesting movie to talk about. It’s about a character wanting to prove his worth; it’s also about revenge and the end of the Wild West and the start of modern day America. We follow the only guy in the movie with a southern accent John Reid (Armie Hammer) as he returns to his home town and meets up with his brother and his wife that John secretly loves. John and his bro go after William Fichtner who’s a cannibal cowboy. He proves this by eating the heart of John’s brother.
John eventually returns from the dead as a ‘Lone Ranger’, an outlaw who does good but doesn’t follow the law. Kind of like Robin Hood or Batman. John eventually captures William Fichtner and finds out that his brother ‘Mr. Moustache twirler’ wants to use the railroads to sell all his silver and make a lot of money. But John rides on his steed he stops Mr. Business man, kills William Fichtner, he gets the girl and rides off into the sunset with Johnny Depp. Speaking of Johnny Depp here’s what happens when we bring Jack Sparrow into cowboy land.
Okay The Lone Ranger is also about Johnny Depp being weird, weird dream sequences, the Pirates of the Caribbean trademark humour, a bunch of people explaining stuff, more scenes with Johnny Depp being weird and over the top action scenes with epic Hans Zimmer music in the background. The story follows some kid at a fair in the future that isn’t relevant to the main story but it’s intended for the 8 year olds who watched this movie. The kid meets an older Johnny Depp and he somehow explains the origin story of The Lone Ranger when he acts like he forgot to take today’s medication.
Johnny Depp wants revenge on William Fichtner and Mr. Evil Dude because they killed his family from when he was a kid. He’s been hunting them his whole life but in the meantime he feeds the dead bird on his head and just acts like Johnny Depp. Eventually he meets The Lone Ranger and they go on their comedic adventure where The Lone Ranger bumbles about the place and survives everything that’s thrown at him, Johnny Depp does Johnny Depp stuff and The Lone Ranger’s horse just copies Johnny Depp and tries to outdo him. In the end, instead of bringing the bad guys to justice, they decide to chase after them on a train and everything becomes really stupid and over the top with the old TV show’s theme playing over everything. In the end Old Depp says goodbye to the kid and walks into the sunset and we’ll never know what will happen next because the franchise bombed.
The Lone Ranger is a mess in its tone. One minute we see William Fichtner eat someone’s heart and the next we see Johnny Depp talking to a horse and feeding his dead bird some more. But the scenes in the desert look impressive and Hans Zimmer’s music is pretty good. The story is pretty unoriginal but I still enjoyed it and the main villain’s plan is a rip off from Rango which is funny because it’s made by the same people. (I would say Rango is better by the way.) I think what saves this movie for me is the weird trademark that you see from Pirates of the Caribbean movies and if you like it or not it’s Johnny Depp’s movie. Once he’s in a scene the focus switches to him and when he’s not around I feel like I’m watching another movie. Also the final action scene with the trains is just amazing. It’s so crazy and ridiculous that I love it to death.
I’m a big fan of The Pirates of the Caribbean movies because they’re all just fun simple adventure movies just like The Indiana Jones movies. It was only when they got more complicated with its lore that I felt killed the franchise. The Lone Ranger is like the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie – easy to sit through, a good movie to turn your brain off to and a fun movie to sit through if you want something to smirk at. It’s a 7/10 and I recommend at least one watch.
I was looking for Disney Animated Movies but Netflix had pretty much every DreamWorks movie. (Plus Netflix Original Shows) I remember being asked to review a bunch of animated movies from both Disney and DreamWorks. So DreamWorks gets the cake (I’ll get around to Disney one day) and choosing just one was pretty hard since there are like 20 of these and most of them are pretty average. I chose a movie that I’ve been intending to rewatch again and that’s Megamind starring Will Ferrell. (It was this or the Bee Movie starring Jerry Seinfeld.)
Megamind is one of DreamWorks lowest grossing movie so that’s why they made one short film and a few tie in games and was left in the dust along with every other DreamWorks movie. This movie came out the same year as Despicable Me which confused me when I was a kid and it’s basically a more kid friendlier version of The Incredibles. Megamind is about the socially awkward Supervillain wanting to beat his arch nemesis aka ’The definitely not based on Superman Guy’. But with one opening montage and roughly 10 to 12 minutes Megamind actually defeats him and takes over the city. But that gets boring so he creates his own hero but it backfires horribly and I’ve just explained the first 50 minutes of this an hour of a half kid’s movie.
While the story plays out like every other kid’s movie out there it was actually pretty entertaining for the most part. I’m not really a fan of Will Ferrell but he was a perfect fit for this movie because this movie is as stupid as Megamind’s ridiculous costume. It’s very light hearted and silly so whenever something serious happens it throws you off guard. For example with the actual villain of the movie Tighten (That’s how it’s spelled) who’s the one to be given super powers thanks to Megamind and he’s in love with Tina Fey’s character who is Lois Lane basically. He turns evil because she doesn’t really care about him and everything becomes really dark when this guy shows up. Jonah Hill does a really good job in this movie along with everyone else but when he turns evil he kind of ruins the movie for me.
It’s got a pretty good soundtrack, the amination still holds up pretty well and it’s a pretty good parody of those old Superman comics and Megamind is basically a combination of Will Ferrell’s humor and Gene Hackman’s Lex Luthor. The 3rd act kind of sucked, it’s got a good message for kids, and it’s a good movie to turn your brain off to and it’s a 7/10. Now take a look at this photo of Will Ferrell dressed up as Megamind.
That about wraps up another month and it’s back to picking out what to talk about next month and you can help if you want and if you do I’ll give you a shout out and reward you with being mentioned in the next instalment of the Watchathon. Can’t wait for the next one because I’m going to aim for more things to complain about then movies that pass the BC’s radar for entertaining movies.
So see you all then so Until Next Time, I’m The Blog Complainer, Signing Out.