I remember when this movie came out it shot right dead center into the hearts of all the middle aged women who loved the musical and ABBA. They gobbled the whole movie up with nothing left to spare. 10 years later we’re getting another Mamma Mia movie because the first movie was so great. Wasn’t it? No way will I ever admit that. You’ll need more than a gun pointed at my head to convince me that I’m wrong. I don’t know where to begin with this one because it’s so dumb and terrible in almost every scene that I…. Noooooooo!, Nope! I can’t keep quiet any longer! It’s time that we put an end to this negativity!
Greetings. This hate filled review has been taken over by your one and only savior -The Anti Blog Complainer. I’m nothing like that other loser because I’m better and much more awesome than he’ll ever be. I look at movies for what they are like any normal person would do. I don’t go out of my way to watch whatever that weird movie was about with the farting Harry Potter corpse thing. Movies aren’t supposed to be art they’re meant to entertain me because my life already sucks and I don’t want an artsy hipster movie to make me think about my life or whatever.
I’ve been reading the BC’s terrible reviews for a while but when I heard he was going to rip to shreds one of my favourite movies of all time I had to hack that losers account and change everything to make it more friendly and more positive because what he said about The Kissing Booth was the final straw. Then he mentioned Mamma Mia in that trailer post that I just skimmed through and that was the final final straw! Oh he’s so evil! Anyway enough about him, it’s time for The Anti Blog Complainer’s updated review on Mamma Mia! the greatest movie ever in the history of the universe and a million times better than that horror movie he watched and gave a positive review on.
I’ve watched the Mamma Mia Broadway show like I couldn’t count how many times I’ve watched the show. I’ve seen it by myself, with my mum, my sister, my auntie, my grannie, sometimes with all of them at once and one time with my dad because I pressured him into watching it and it’s been to my town like 7 times. When it was announced that there was going to be a movie I was like beyond excitement I don’t think I could sleep for a week or a month or year whatever a super long time. When it came out I was already in love with it and when I saw it I loved it. I jumped back in the queue to watch it 16 more times. I don’t think I ever saw a movie that many times in one week.
The movie is about Donna and her beautiful daughter Sophie played by Meryl Streep and Amanda Seyfried living at a hotel on one of those hot Greek Islands that I keep planning on visiting but I’m too busy marathoning Riverdale to even bother. Sophie is getting married to handsome guy Sky played by some handsome guy. Sophie learns Donna had a relationship with three different guys before she was even conceived. So she invites Sam Carmichael played by Pierce Brosnan, Bill Anderson played by Stellan Skarsgard and Harry Bright played by Colin Firth, her three possible fathers, to the wedding without her mother’s knowledge.
The Hater mentioned that he thought the story was boring and hated on it for not being realistic because everything needs to be realistic in his eyes. He’s wrong because Number 1 he’s a hater so he’s automatically wrong, Number 2 it’s not boring its super funny and there is ABBA music so that cancels out it being boring and Number 3 it’s a movie, it’s supposed to entertain and this movie always brings me to tears when Sam proposes to Donna it’s so beautiful oh God I’m tearing up. He found every talking scene boring but he can’t say that because he pulled that card when he reviewed The Greatest Showman so you can’t say something negative twice.
I’m over the story because I know it’s perfect and he just goes on and on, Yawn, Boring! Let’s get to the music because that’s the only thing we all care about. ABBA are the best musicians ever. It’s so tragic that they broke up and this movie brings their music back with the terrific singing from all the actors. He goes on about that half of them can’t sing but you know that’s not a complaint it’s like complaining the picture looks boring. That’s not a real complaint because I didn’t notice any of that technical stuff he loves to gush about. Anyway the music is phenomenal and there is nothing more to say but BC did and made a list of why they’re bad.
I Have A Dream – He said it’s a rip-off of the opening scene of Titanic. But he doesn’t know he’s ripping off every other movie reviewer on the planet! HA!
Honey, Honey – He called it The Dot, Dot, Dot Squealing Contest I just slam my head into my laptop so hard. He’s really so unfunny that this movie is so superior to his whole career.
Money, Money, Money – He really bashed every song with Meryl Streep because he hates how talented she is.
Mamma Mia – A perfect song ruined by pointless complaining.
Dancing Queen – Best Song Ever and but he still found a way.
Our Last Summer – He actually liked this song but that still doesn’t prove anything.
Lay All Your Love On Me – He dubbed this the gayest song in the movie which is just insulting to me because this movie speaks to everyone including gay people.
Super Trouper – He didn’t even mention this one but I’m mentioning it
Does Your Mother Know That Your Out – He said the song is pointless which it isn’t because if this song wasn’t in the movie than I would’ve been annoyed as a die-hard ABBA fan and Mamma Mia fan.
When All Is Said And Done – He hated on Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan for their singing! He’s the most evil person I’ve ever had to dedicate my time too! He complains about everything!
There is other stuff he mentions too but I don’t care about that technical behind the scene stuff because I don’t want to see how they did it. Okay the review is terrible and this movie is amazing and I’m out of things to say because I need to go back to Riverdale. Final score 11/10 because this movie is awesome and when I’m done with Riverdale I’m going to stand outside my Cinema and line up for the new movie because it’s going to be amazing!
Until Next Time I’m The Anti Blog Complainer and I’m here to protect you from Complainers of your favorite movies.
So that was Mamma Mia. I hope you enjoyed my review because I spent about 4 hours writing up this review for you and I hope you read every single little detail I put into it because it took a lot of effort dissecting this movie and I’m glad it’s over now. Now I’m ready for this new Mamma Mia movie that I bet it will be awful. I’m out of steam so like and comment and stuff if not don’t do anything about it.
Until next time I’m The Blog Complainer Signing Out.