Before we start I would like you to click on this link to make this article sound a little bit more epic because this article really needs you to click on it: https://freesound.org/people/AVA_MUSIC_GROUP/sounds/397143/
As of the end of June I’ve seen 20 movies this year at the cinema and every time I go to see the latest Marvel movie I have to watch the same awful trailers over and over again. It was only this week that my inner Hulk just finally decided to burst out and so I need to end the month on a rant. How I normally decide if I want to watch a movie is I just read the synopsis and decide if it’s worth my time or it isn’t.
|“Join your favourite monster family as they embark on a vacation on a luxury monster cruise ship!!! Drac??? can take a summer vacation from providing everyone else’s vacation at the hotel????? (Huh?) It’s smoooth sailing for the Drac–Pack as the monsters indulge in all of the shipboard fun the cruise has to offer, from monster volleybaaall to exotic excursions (What type of excursions????), and catching up on their moon tans!!!!!! (What!). But the dream vacation turns into a nightmare when Mavis realises Drac has fallen for the ‘Mysterious Captain’ of the ship, Ericka, who hides a ‘Dangerous Secret’ that could destroy all of Monsterkind”!!!!!!!!!!!|
This is definitely a series I won’t be reviewing.
I know why we need trailers. Studios need to advertise their movies and the only way to do that is to show a 3 minute long clip of the best parts of the movie. The most common place to find this clip is before your movie starts or now days just search on YouTube and watch the 5 most popular reaction videos of your favorite YouTubers to see their thoughts on it. I used to do that during my adolescent years and, like I mentioned earlier, I can’t escape trailers when I go to a movie. For all the possible places where you can find movie trailers there is a very simple reason why I try to avoid them.
I have been contemplating on how I would describe my hatred for Modern Day Movie Trailers and I figured why not just make a simple Top 10 list.
The Top 10 Reasons Why Modern Day Movie Trailers Are The Worstest Thing in Existence!!
Number 10: Remember This! Remember This!- This is to all those movies injected with nostalgia syndrome. (I’m looking at you Mamma Mia!) These trailers are just awful because they’re all like. ‘Hey remember how great our first movie was and how much fun we had. Now we got a new movie coming and now we can have more fun together again. Hooray!’ I call it pandering and it’s just the worst.
Number 9: Fading To Black- I’m more specifically looking at when an Action movie shows a main character in danger and they just cut to black before we see what happens. Isn’t that annoying when we know they’re not going to die because we’re not stupid. The worst example goes to Solo when Chewie is about to be hit by the edge of a mountain. This is the worst because this a prequel! It’s just a really cheap way to end the trailer on a not so dramatic moment.
Number 8: The Whole Point Of The Trailer Being The Final Shot- This one mostly goes to all the superhero movies. When they need to show off a surprise reveal that would’ve been more surprising if they didn’t show it at all. Also showing off a character that only comic readers would recognize or showing off the return of a fan favorite. It’s a very old trick but it gives something for the internet to obsess over for a week. To end this off can I mention how ugly Venom looks in his movie. (Urgh!)
Number 7: These Sounds- They’re awful and I’m sick of them. Here’s a link for your amusement: https://freesound.org/people/AVA_MUSIC_GROUP/packs/22339/
Number 6: Terrible Music- You have two choices for music to put in your terrible trailers. You can have bad score music or drag down whatever is the most popular song at the time or putting in ear bleedingly bad pop music into your awful kids movie trailers.
Number 5: Trying Not To Cringe At Comedy Trailers- The first time I saw the trailer for this kiwi movie called Breaker Upperers it was fine but now I’ve seen it 5 times and it’s just not funny anymore. Another one goes to Blockers – it wasn’t funny before and is just worst after seeing the trailer 3 times. From now on if I watch another comedy movie I’ll mention if the trailer made me cringe or not. (Wouldn’t you agree Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again?)
Number 4: 4 To 10 Trailers For The Same Movie- Now we’re getting into the good stuff. I understand the point of teaser trailers (Deadpool 2 wins the award for best teaser trailers) but I don’t understand why you need 3 to 4 trailers for one movie! For this example I’m going to use Skyscraper with The Rock. The first trailer I saw made me think this might be okay.
Then I saw another trailer of this movie when I saw Tag and it completely turned me off the movie because it ties into my next point and ruins the first trailer’s Number 9 moment. Seeing too many trailers ruins the movie experience and is the reason why I don’t watch them on YouTube anymore.
Number 3: Tell Instead Of Show- Skyscraper basically told me what was going to happen. I think the more vague the trailer is the more interest I have and the more it tells me then I basically watched a free movie for the 20 bucks I spend to watch another movie. Thanks Skyscraper.
Number 2: Spoiling The Whole Movie- I find it very annoying coming across spoilers online. How about finding spoilers in trailers for movies that you haven’t seen yet. Truth or Dare is a good example for this but the honor should go to Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. I had a feeling this movie would suck before seeing it but looking back on the 7 to 8 times I had to watch the trailers, I could not believe how much footage they took from the final act of the movie.
I won’t say much in case you haven’t seen it but I will say you’ve messed up when the last line of your trailer is the also the last line of your movie. I hope I see the trailer again for my next movie so I can give it a Cringe reward.
Before We Talk About Number One Here Are Some Dishonorable Mentions:
– Horror Trailers Trying To Scare You (Don’t care enough about horror movies to put on the list)
-Narrators (I don’t watch enough kids movies)
-Taglines In Trailers (Not around long enough to read the whole thing)
-Trailers For Movies That I’m Currently Watching (I blame my local cinema for this one)
Before Going To Number One Click The Link For Dramatic Effect: https://freesound.org/people/adriann/sounds/191718/
Number 1: They’re All Exactly The Same- In the end they all feel the exact same and play out the exact same way every damn time. Every time I feel like I’m seeing the same ad for the same movie. Can’t you be a bit more creative with your trailers or try something different? They can’t because if you blend together everything I’ve just mentioned then that’s how you make the perfect modern day trailer. Bland boring 3 minute clips for a movie that obviously looks awful or a movie that’s looks really awesome but can’t make a good trailer.
Trailers feel like gambling and are very good at making an audience feel a particular mood which is their purpose – to convince you to see their movie and buzz up some hype. Call me old fashioned but I would rather just read about an upcoming movie or read someone else’s thoughts because MODERN DAY TRAILERS ARE TERRIBLE!
I’m really into trying out different things to see how people react aren’t I? Please leave your thoughts on Modern Day Trailers down below. I’m very curious to hear what you think. I’ll see you all next month for New Reviews and Stuff so stay tuned.
Until Next Time, I’m The Blog Complainer Signing Out.