Hi everyone, I’m The Blog Complainer and welcome to the first edition of The Blog Complainer’s Netflix Watchathon.

Introduction

(Please Read)

I just got Netflix recently because I’ve been living under a rock for my whole life until a few months ago. I noticed there is tons of movies and shows to watch on it and tons of potential things to complain about. (I guess I can review them too while I’m at it.) I thought long and hard about how I’m going to do this and it will likely change over time so imagine this as my Frankenstein’s monster. It’ll take time before I can finally create my masterpiece so feel free to throw all the feedback you can at me until I bring it to life.

But anyway, here’s how each month will play out. I’ll review three different types of movies from the following categories.

Netflix Originals: This is all about watching stuff on the streaming platform so why not dedicate one to the platform I’m using. So this spot is for the Netflix Originals. So only for Movies or Shows made by Netflix.

The Genre of The Month: Each month will be centered around a genre. So For this month theme is Independent Movies aka Indie Hipster movies. The reason for this is because this is my birthday month and The BC loves Indie movies. Don’t worry, next month’s theme will be the complete opposite of this month’s.

The Reader’s Request: This one is pretty simple to grasp. You, aka Mr or Mrs or Miss Reader, can suggest something for me to review.  Okay that’s everything let’s get started.

The Netflix Original

The Kissing Booth (2018)

Our first movie is The Kissing Booth and it was awful. This movie came out quite recently on Netflix and of course was the first Netflix movie recommended to me and I thought it would be just a harmless movie. (Boy was I wrong) I’ve mixed thoughts on this movie. It’s a romantic comedy mixed with teenage angst and a soap opera. I really don’t know where to begin with this one so I’m going to split this review into two parts discussing the plot and why everything is wrong with this movie.

Part 1 – I Currently Hate Myself: The movie starts with introducing our main characters. First we have Likeable Quirky Teenage Girl Character her character is she is a loser who complains about being single and will do anything for attention. (I can’t think of anyone you could relate to this) Then we have Jealous Best Friend whose only purpose is to make TG’s life extra miserable. Lastly there’s The Hot Bad Boy who has the acting talent of Edward and the body of Jacob. (But at least this girl isn’t Bella)

After that it’s time for school and the girl splits her pants and has to wear a really short dress. She goes to school and some idiot touches her butt and bad boy beats him up. Pretty much from this point I really hated this movie. From the most predictable story ever told, to the teenage pandering and the terrible humor! The humor either involves contrived awkward moments or involves one of the many clichéd cartoon high school students to make some insulting comment. Right about the 20 minute mark, and with more than an hour to go, I really wanted to shut the movie off and watch Seinfeld because around this point the Main Girl made a Seinfeld reference.

So the plot of the movie kicks off with the blunder twins plans to run a Kissing Booth for a School Fair I think, I stopped caring by this point to question it. The school fair looks like the ending to Grease – they’ve got carnival games and all of that which isn’t how school fairs work in real life especially how the kissing booth was set up in the movie. Cartoon students kiss cartoon students then the main focus of the movie kicks off which is the forbidden romance between Party Girl and Hunky Dude.

Part 2 – Things Change: So the reason why these two can’t hook up is because Jealous Guy made a rule when they were kids that they can’t date each others siblings. I would understand if she had a super-hot sister but she’s only got a little brother and he’s got every teenage girl’s dream guy. So the two admit their feelings for each and agree to keep their relationship a secret only they do a terrible job at keeping their relationship a secret. The movie does start to get a bit better when all the comedy goes away and it’s a soap opera.

The movie from here is so predictable that I could sum it all up in a few dot points

• Character who is hiding something from Friend/Lover/Family-Member and they know it will ruin their bond
• Friend/Lover/Family-Member finds out secret at worst possible moment
• The low point where everyone must hate each other
• Some sort of party (In This Case Party 723)
• Characters bond
• Dumb, happy ending
• Movie ends and Blog Complainer questions his life.

I was surprised to find out this movie is extremely popular and it’s apparently the biggest movie on Netflix right now and one of the actresses has hinted at a sequel. I’m only guessing it’s a huge hit for younger people, which is fine. I’m still young and I thought this movie was dreadful. It’s pandering lazy garbage that no one should watch. A 3/10. I’m off to a great start!

Genre Of The Month

Swiss Army Man (2016)

Swiss Army Man is a very unique movie and it’s the best out of the movie’s I’ve picked for this month, probably because it’s the most original out of the lot. This movie came out a few years ago at The Sundance Film Festival and was nicknamed ‘The Farting Corpse Movie’. (Sounds unique doesn’t it?) It’s an A24 movie which is easily the best movie studio out there right now who make actual movies instead of products. This movie isn’t going to be for everyone.  It’s an Arthouse movie that would turn off your average movie viewer who only loves Marvel and Transformers so if you’re one of those that’s fine.

The movie is about a guy on a deserted island who is ready to kill himself when he suddenly discovers a corpse washing up on shore. This corpse is different because it’s constantly farting and puking out water. Hank (Paul Dano) rides the corpse like a Jet-Ski to the mainland where the corpse starts to talk. Hank names him Manny (Daniel Radcliffe) and he takes him on an adventure in the wildness with his corpse buddy. (It sounds really dumb I know)

The movie solely focuses on these two characters interacting with each other and using their imaginations to have a quite powerful experience together. While the movie is very out there and not a movie for the casual viewer it’s still a very good movie. It’s a movie about heart and one of the most heart breaking and beautiful friendships I’ve ever seen in a movie. (And it’s a damn corpse!) Just compare the friendship in this movie to Johnny 5 and E.T except the corpse wants to get laid and farts a lot.

The acting in this movie is really good especially from Daniel Radcliffe as Manny who is forced to be a living rag-doll for the whole movie. The movie looks really nice and I had a blast watching the movie. The only thing I found annoying was some of music that got on my nerves after a while and it’s one of those movies that deserves another watch and I think would get better after multiple re-watches. I don’t want to get to into the actual story because I think it’s best to just watch it then discuss it with someone else who has seen the movie.

If you’re like me and love analyzing movies then this is definitely worth your time or if you just like watching actual movies this is a must watch. It’s an 8/10. It’s the best movie to have Fart Jokes in it and I think it’s worth owning on DVD. Like I said earlier it’s not going to be for everyone and next month I’ll try to find a movie that should please everybody and I’m bound to hate it.

Reader Requested

Jason Bourne (2016)

About 2 months ago I was asked to review the Bourne movies & I wasn’t really sure when I should do that so for now I’m just going with the newest one. So it’s been 9 years since the last Bourne movie (That Jeremy Renner one doesn’t count) Matt Damon returns as David Webb aka Jason Bourne & Paul Greengrass has returned to direct this new one.

Bourne continues to search deeper into his past while trying to run away from some type of high-tech government agency who mostly watches our hero from a monitor. Along the way he’ll team up with other characters who want the same thing he wants but ends up becoming apart of Bourne’s game of Cat & Mouse. At some point this character will either die or has to go into hiding for the rest of the movie. Bourne gets involved in some close encounter fist fight normally with someone who poses a challenge for him, hiding in crowds to follow someone and to avoid bad guys & cameras, getting in car chases and listening to people talking from their safe comfortable HQ. Bourne eventually has to travel to a new location to meet with either the sympathetic female character or the evil old geezer. There is also one final fight or car chase, the final scene of the movie has to loosely open up a potential sequel.  Roll credits while playing ‘Extreme Ways’. That’s roughly every Bourne movie in a nutshell.

Jason Bourne still feels like just another Bourne movie. There are some things to like about it. Paul Greengrass has always being good at directing intense or fight scenes which were the highlights of the original trilogy. While some of these scenes went on for a bit too long for me, they were still very entertaining. My favorite was the riot in Italy – it’s visually stunning and it’s another great addition to the franchise. Matt Damon does a pretty good job as the character and that’s about all the positives I have with the movie.

I think the main problem with this movie is it’s just unnecessary. Bourne’s story ended with the original movies where it was about Bourne remembering who he was. This one he’s old and tired and learning that his father helped create Treadstone. It feels like information I would find in an extended novel. Also the main villain’s plan of using some guy’s Facebook inspired project just so the Government can watch everyone on their phones, I feel like I could think of much similar ideas than what these guys came up with and I also feel like they already have the power to do this without this Spy Camera nonsense.

Overall Jason Bourne is an entertaining Bourne movie that I would only recommend if you’re already into the Bourne franchise. If not, just watch the original trilogy. It’s a 7/10. Also don’t forget once you’ve read this review go on to https://www.dell.com/en-us to get the latest & greatest Dell laptop or Dell PC out there so you can be as good at hacking into other people’s private lives like Alicia Vikander’s character. Dell are the real heroes of this story.

Conclusion

So that’s the end of June, I can’t believe I’ve been writing reviews for 4 months now. In the end I think it turned out pretty good and I think I did a pretty good job at picking out these movies. It took about 2 and a bit weeks but it was a lot of fun making this experiment that I hope to continue with and I hope you all enjoyed what I put together. I hope to see you all here at hopefully around the same time next month.

The Blog Complainer, Signing Out.