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Why I didn’t like The Greatest Showman

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(This Movie was made by 20 Century Fox)




(This Movie was made by 20 Century Fox)




(20 Century Fox Presents: The Greatest Showman)

“Ladies and gents, this is the moment you’ve waited for Been searching in the dark, your sweat soaking through the floor And buried in your bones there’s an ache that you can’t ignore Taking your breath, stealing your mind And all that was real is left behind. They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy They can say, they can say I’ve lost my mind I don’t care, I don’t care, so call me crazy We can live in a world that we design. What if we rewrite the stars? Say you were made to be mine Nothing could keep us apart You’d be the one I was meant to find It’s up to you, and it’s up to me No one can say what we get to be So why don’t we rewrite the stars? Maybe the world could be ours Tonight.  When the sharpest words wanna cut me down I’m gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out I am brave, I am bruised I am who I’m meant to be, this is me Look out ’cause here I come And I’m marching on to the beat I drum I’m not scared to be seen I make no apologies, this is me Oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh, oh I’m watching it come true, it’s taking over you Oh, this is the greatest show”!

Here’s my reaction to that:

The Greatest Showman is one of most pretentious musicals I’ve ever seen. This is the most soulless movie of last year in my eyes. A lot of effort went into how it looks, the performances, the singing & dancing but the final product has nothing new to show. This movie hits everything it needed to hit so most audiences will go ‘Wow That was Great! I don’t remember what happened but I’m buying that soundtrack that I also can’t remember’. This movie isn’t the worst thing in the world but it also has everything wrong with it. Let me explain but only if I knew where to begin.

Only super nice guys can rewrite the stars

The Blandest Looking Picture: Before people ignore everything I’m about to say I think I should start at some positives. It’s so colourful. But the camera work is flat especially when they’re showing off the fake ugly old buildings. The performances are good. That’s because their characters are so basic & boring so the actors have nothing to work with. The music is amazing. I’ll get into that. Hugh Jackman is amazing in this movie. He is really good but not his character Rebecca Ferguson is such a great singer. She didn’t sing that song. Zac Efron & Zendaya are so cute together. Well that’s there only purpose. The Musical scenes look awesome. They do. (I’m being honest) The story is so emotionally engaging it made me cry. Good for you if it made you cry but for me the story was the most boring part of the movie. Okay that’s all the positives now to the negatives.

The Not so Greatest Story of The Not so Greatest Showman: So the movie starts off with hit song then to kids. This part of the movie is literally pointless to the rest of the movie. Then we have P.T Barnum (Hugh Jackman), his wife Charity (Michelle Williams) & their kids talk about their dreams. Then we have the heroes climbing to grace plot line you’ve seen in every boring movie like this. Along the way Barnum recruits some freaks & manipulates them into joining his freak show. But ignore that here comes another song don’t think just Sing!

Zac Efron is in this movie for some reason & his only purpose is to have romance with Zendaya who’s as beautiful as him. He wouldn’t stand a chance with the bearded lady with the most fake beard I’ve ever seen. So Barnum meets Jenny Lind (Rebecca Ferguson) they go on their own adventure so he can get the snobby critics to like him because who listens to critics.(I should know) Meanwhile one of the kids can’t do ballet. (Do you care because I certainly don’t) Zac Efron & Zendaya can’t be together because you know. So they Sing!

Barnum & Lind have a P-G affair so Michelle Williams will hate him. Then we get to everyone must hate the main character because this movie wants to strangle me with its unoriginality. The local’s burn down the museum everyone hooks up because the script says so. The movie ends on the same hit song from the beginning. Then Barnum passes on the torch to Zac Efron even though they’re all broke they probably need his help. Who cares Movie is over!

Only beautiful looking freaks exist in fiction

Why is this story based on P.T Barnum?: I don’t understand why this movie is based on P.T Barnum’s life since it’s only the outline of his life. This movie could’ve been based on anyone it could’ve been Muppets Greatest Showman Starring Gonzo The Great & nothing will change. But I guess Hollywood loves movies based on history so P.T will have to do. Well if you’re going to base it off P.T then Hugh Jackman will have to look more like how he looked in Logan to get his age right & act more like a greedy jerk. (But that doesn’t look good on posters)

There are a lot of other things that are all fiction. (Just like the movie itself) Firstly Jenny Lind (Michelle Williams) never had a relationship with Barnum. Because Barnum was a creepy old man & not Hugh Jackman, The Freaks I don’t think were as happy & jolly as they were in the movie because Barnum wasn’t Hugh Jackman & lastly Zac Efron’s character Phillip Carlyle (Stupid Name Don’t you Agree) doesn’t exist. He was made up for the movie so there could be a romance in the movie. Same with Zendaya she’s not real either. That might explain how boring these characters are.

Oh No More Negative Talking: What annoys me most is how negative thought free this movie is. Oh no Barnum won’t invite me to his rich party because I’ve tattoos all over my body or I’ve other weird stuff on my body so let’s sing everybody. Oh no someone doesn’t like what I do then I will keep smiling & tell them their wrong. We can’t be together because old people don’t like it. Well who ever listens to old people let’s sing our problems away. See what I mean I can’t be the only one seeing this.

What makes a good story is a thing called a ‘conflict’. A conflict is some sort of problem or theme that hangs over the whole movie. A good example could be La La Land another musical. La La Land has our two leads meet up & fall in love but they both have two completely different goals they both want to achieve. As the movie goes along they get some sort version of what they want but the problem is as they get closer to that goal they drift further & further apart.

Greatest Showman everything is handed to our characters right off the bat the only problem is P. T Barnum getting too swept up in his dreams. But that’s quickly resolved when he just apologises for his actions & everyone just forgives him. Because this movie is so clean & everyone is basically flawless people the movie gets boring. After a while I just tuned out of the story. With no real problem the movie gets boring. It becomes more of a La La Land than the movie La La Land. If there is no good story to follow I guess all that is left is the music.

With the power of Post Production magic anyone can sing

The Music: The songs what were they again?

  1. The Greatest Show – It’s loud & it’s nice to look at.
  2. & 3. A Million Dreams – Everyone loves Kids, it’s nice to look at & It must’ve been fun for those kids singing this song for all of their childhoods.
  3. Come Alive – I don’t even remember this one.
  4. The Other Side – Is this the one at the bar?
  5. Never Enough – Wasn’t she from the Voice?
  6. This Is Me – Hey I hear this song every time I go to work.
  7. Rewrite The Stars – Does this give you High School Musical flashbacks? I’m certainly getting some.
  8. Tightrope – I was on my phone when this song came up.
  9. Never Enough (Reprise) – (Fill in Blank Later)
  10. From Now On – Sorry I just bought the soundtrack, go take a break & buy yourself this amazingly forgettable soundtrack. Wait where did I leave it?

Oscar Bomb: I watched this movie last night (Which is a day after I wrote this review) & all I could think is this movie really wanted to win the Oscars. They won a Golden Globe (But who cares about that) for best original song which was ‘This is Me’. But it got no nominations from The Oscars besides the best original song which was also ‘This is Me’. I know the Oscars are known for picking movies just like this luckily this movie was mostly snubbed which I’m grateful for. It ticked all the boxes that the Oscars look for in films. This movie looks amazing but it’s so safe & it was made so on the nose that it fails to be a good quality film.

A Movie review by The Blog Complainer

*Have a Happy Mothers Day Everyone

Cameron Black

I review stuff and hate on everything you ever loved. But I’m still a super nice guy and make pretty entertaining content.

This Post Has 4 Comments

  1. Alicia

    Hey, I loved this, lots of it is true, I have a couple things to say though. Well, the reason that whenever there is some sort of problem they sing their problems away is because, I mean, it’s a musical, so of course they are going to sing randomly. Also, I just don’t really get what you mean by the characters being ‘fake’? I mean, of course they are fake… all characters in TV Shows/Movies are fake unless they are Reality shows. Sorry if I misunderstand, I’m just kind of wondering where you’re going with that… great job overall!

  2. Cameron Black

    You make a good point on it’s just musical But I still find think it ties into their being no real conflict besides old people don’t like them and instead of like dreading on it they go let’s sing our problems away it sounds really stupid. The charcters being fake I mean is that half of them are slightly based on their real counterparts or their completely fictional. They’re basically perfect people with no real problems so they’re flawless. I hope that clarifies what you didn’t understand in my review.

  3. Anonymous

    Typical American diatribe. Try learning English before using it. Pillock

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